In High Probability Selling, we do not try to build trust. Trust is a feeling, not a skill. It arises naturally or not at all. When a salesperson tries to “build trust,” what they usually do is attempt to control the other person’s feelings. That becomes persuasion, even when the intent is good.
Respect, however, is different. Respect can be initiated. It starts when we are truthful about what we are doing and what we want. It continues when we ask questions that can be answered in any way — including ways that make us uncomfortable. And it deepens when we take the other person’s answers seriously, without defending or correcting.
Trying to generate trust puts attention on the prospect’s emotions. Initiating respect keeps attention on our own behavior. One can be chosen, the other cannot. In practice, this means we speak clearly, listen completely, and accept whatever happens. When respect is maintained, trust may appear on its own — authentic, organic, and unforced.
The purpose of respect is not to make the sale easier. It is to keep the relationship clean. In that clean space, truth becomes visible. Then both parties can decide, without pressure, whether it makes sense to do business together.
Author
Too good. Way too damn good. Truthfully.