Month: October 2025

Protecting the Conversation: How to Keep the Container Clean

Every conversation has a container — an invisible boundary that defines safety and purpose. When persuasion enters, it becomes contaminated. In High Probability Selling, our goal is to keep that container clean so truth can be spoken without defense.

Every conversation has a container — an invisible boundary that defines safety, clarity, and purpose.  When manipulation enters, the container becomes contaminated.  The goal in High Probability Selling is to keep that container clean.

If you bring a subject-matter expert or partner into a meeting with the prospect, make sure you first tell the prospect, “I’ve asked this person to help with the details.  I’ve told them not to try to convince you of anything.  If they slip into selling, I’ll stop them right there.”  Then tell the expert the same thing.  That single statement protects everyone involved. 

A clean container allows each participant to speak truthfully without defense.  It turns the conversation from a contest into an exploration.  When people know they will not be persuaded, they begin to listen differently.  They relax.  They tell the truth.

The salesperson’s job is not to control outcomes but to maintain integrity within the dialogue.  When you respect the container, the conversation itself becomes the proof of who you are.  No presentation can match that.

HPS Community Forum Meeting – It’s Not the Words; It’s the Intention — Thu 23 Oct 2025

Dear Readers,

You are invited to join this week’s High Probability Selling Community Forum meeting (it’s free):

It’s Not the Words; It’s the Intention Behind Them

In his article “Poison Words: The Top 6 Words that Sabotage Sales,” Jacques Werth, founder of High Probability Selling, described how certain words — like Interested, Help, Honestly, Just, Thank You, and Great — can create mistrust when used in traditional selling.

But as we’ll explore together, the real issue isn’t the words themselves — it’s the intention behind them and how we use them.
When we use words to influence or control, even harmless phrases can become “poison.”
When we speak truthfully and respectfully, even ordinary language can create a safe place for connection and trust to develop naturally.

We’ll talk about:

  • How intention shapes communication more than vocabulary
  • When some of those “poison words” might actually work with HPS
  • How to recognize and change subtle patterns in your language
  • How to de-militarize the language of sales and align words and metaphors with genuine respect

Two sessions will be offered this Thursday, October 23, 2025 (tomorrow):

  • 🕤 9:30 AM (USA Eastern) — hosted by Carl Ingalls
  • 🕡 6:30 PM (USA Eastern) — hosted by Paul Bunn

Each session will last one or two hours.  You’re welcome to attend either or both.  They will be different. 

Recordings.  Both sessions will be recorded.  Both recordings will be made available to everyone who attends either session (and provides a name plus email address).  If you are not sure that you will be able to attend, you may request the recordings in advance (by Thursday night at the latest). 

Join the Forum via Zoom: (it’s free, no need to register, just show up)
🔗 https://us02web.zoom.us/j/83436793215?pwd=amFiMVorZDFWbmxpdnJCOUphVThlUT09
(Same link for both sessions.)

We look forward to another thoughtful and authentic conversation on the principles that make High Probability Selling work.

After the Zoom meetings, this post will be replaced by a summary of what was discussed and revealed in the meetings.

You Can’t Build Trust — You Can Only Initiate Respect

High Probability Selling emphasizes the difference between trust and respect. Trust is an emotion that cannot be forced, while respect is initiated through honesty and thoughtful communication. By focusing on our behavior and maintaining a clean relationship, authentic trust can develop naturally, facilitating clearer decision-making without pressure in business interactions.

In High Probability Selling, we do not try to build trust.  Trust is a feeling, not a skill.  It arises naturally or not at all.  When a salesperson tries to “build trust,” what they usually do is attempt to control the other person’s feelings.  That becomes persuasion, even when the intent is good. 

Respect, however, is different.  Respect can be initiated.  It starts when we are truthful about what we are doing and what we want.  It continues when we ask questions that can be answered in any way — including ways that make us uncomfortable.  And it deepens when we take the other person’s answers seriously, without defending or correcting. 

Trying to generate trust puts attention on the prospect’s emotions.  Initiating respect keeps attention on our own behavior.  One can be chosen, the other cannot.  In practice, this means we speak clearly, listen completely, and accept whatever happens.  When respect is maintained, trust may appear on its own — authentic, organic, and unforced. 

The purpose of respect is not to make the sale easier.  It is to keep the relationship clean.  In that clean space, truth becomes visible.  Then both parties can decide, without pressure, whether it makes sense to do business together.

The Power of a Positive Last Impression

There was a recent blog post on the benefits of hearing a quick “no” when prospecting. Here are some additional thoughts on that concept. When non-HPS salespeople hear you accept “no” for an answer, it goes against all of their traditional and logical sales indoctrination. Some say it’s counter-cultural, counter-productive, and at least counterintuitive.

They say you’re giving up control of the sale to the prospect. That you lost a sale. The truth is that you can’t lose what you never had in the first place.

And when you stop clinging to every potential “yes,” you actually regain control of your business.

When you accept a “not now” without resistance:

  • You free yourself to find the next “yes now.”
  • Everyone leaves with a positive last impression— which matters more than you think. Even more than a first impression.
  • A positive last impression creates a future opening— a chance for the next impression. And the next and the next.

It may feel unnatural at first. But letting go of the need to get what you think you need this time opens the possibility of a next time, when the prospect is ready—and doing so with integrity throughout the process.

You have a choice in every sales conversation, and you are in complete control of your choice:

  • You can attempt to drag out a fight with reality, or
  • You can create a memory of effortless collaboration and respect.

You wanted a “yes.” You didn’t get it. That’s okay. You still get to choose how you show up.

Because by giving your prospect the power to say “no,” you also keep your power to continue.

Feedback We Received About This Blog

A few days ago, we sent an email to most of the people who subscribe to the HPS Blog.  We asked questions about posting frequency, length of posts, type of content, style, and anything else.

The email was sent to 256 subscribers.  The reported open rate was 36%.  Several people took the time to respond.  Here’s what we learned:

Frequency

Opinions varied.  Some want a post every weekday, while others prefer just one per week.  Most readers seem comfortable with the current pace of 3–4 posts per week.

Length

A mix of lengths works best.  Short posts are easy to digest, but many readers also want the occasional longer or deeper article.

Content

Readers are most interested in clear, practical applications of HPS and concepts that they can use right away.  Comparisons with other sales methods should be minimal.  Case studies are welcome.

Style

Most responses indicate satisfaction with the current style.  A practical and informative tone is appreciated, with some readers valuing variety in approach.

Our Conclusions

  • We will continue posting at roughly 3–4 times per week, while keeping in mind that some readers prefer fewer, and some prefer more.
  • We will maintain a mix of short posts and occasionally publish longer pieces, especially case studies or deeper explorations.
  • We will stay with our current tone — clear, conversational, and useful.

Thank you to everyone who responded.  Your feedback helps us keep the HPS Blog relevant and valuable.