Tag: trust

We Are Suckers for the Appearance of Simplicity

Modern systems promise simplicity everywhere we look.
Fewer buttons.  Fewer choices.  Smarter defaults.
“Don’t worry — we know what you want.”

And we fall for it.

But what’s often called simple isn’t simpler.
It’s just less visible.

Instead of asking, systems decide.
Things happen that we didn’t choose.
Nothing feels complicated — until something goes wrong.

Then the work returns to us and becomes our problem:
figuring out what happened
and how to stop it from happening again.

The complexity never disappeared.
It just moved out of sight.

We accept this because we’re busy.  Overloaded.
Anything that promises to “just work” feels like relief.

But there’s a cost.

When understanding is removed along with effort,
control fades.
predictability fades.
trust fades.

Real simplicity doesn’t hide decisions.
It makes them clear.

Once you see the difference,
you see it everywhere.

Protecting the Conversation: How to Keep the Container Clean

Every conversation has a container — an invisible boundary that defines safety and purpose. When persuasion enters, it becomes contaminated. In High Probability Selling, our goal is to keep that container clean so truth can be spoken without defense.

Every conversation has a container — an invisible boundary that defines safety, clarity, and purpose.  When manipulation enters, the container becomes contaminated.  The goal in High Probability Selling is to keep that container clean.

If you bring a subject-matter expert or partner into a meeting with the prospect, make sure you first tell the prospect, “I’ve asked this person to help with the details.  I’ve told them not to try to convince you of anything.  If they slip into selling, I’ll stop them right there.”  Then tell the expert the same thing.  That single statement protects everyone involved. 

A clean container allows each participant to speak truthfully without defense.  It turns the conversation from a contest into an exploration.  When people know they will not be persuaded, they begin to listen differently.  They relax.  They tell the truth.

The salesperson’s job is not to control outcomes but to maintain integrity within the dialogue.  When you respect the container, the conversation itself becomes the proof of who you are.  No presentation can match that.

You Can’t Build Trust — You Can Only Initiate Respect

High Probability Selling emphasizes the difference between trust and respect. Trust is an emotion that cannot be forced, while respect is initiated through honesty and thoughtful communication. By focusing on our behavior and maintaining a clean relationship, authentic trust can develop naturally, facilitating clearer decision-making without pressure in business interactions.

In High Probability Selling, we do not try to build trust.  Trust is a feeling, not a skill.  It arises naturally or not at all.  When a salesperson tries to “build trust,” what they usually do is attempt to control the other person’s feelings.  That becomes persuasion, even when the intent is good. 

Respect, however, is different.  Respect can be initiated.  It starts when we are truthful about what we are doing and what we want.  It continues when we ask questions that can be answered in any way — including ways that make us uncomfortable.  And it deepens when we take the other person’s answers seriously, without defending or correcting. 

Trying to generate trust puts attention on the prospect’s emotions.  Initiating respect keeps attention on our own behavior.  One can be chosen, the other cannot.  In practice, this means we speak clearly, listen completely, and accept whatever happens.  When respect is maintained, trust may appear on its own — authentic, organic, and unforced. 

The purpose of respect is not to make the sale easier.  It is to keep the relationship clean.  In that clean space, truth becomes visible.  Then both parties can decide, without pressure, whether it makes sense to do business together.

Who Else is Teaching Sales Methods that Resemble High Probability Selling?

High Probability Selling (HPS) has been around for decades, yet most sales training programs today still focus on persuasion, manipulation, and closing techniques.  Even so, there is a growing movement of sales thinkers and trainers who advocate methods that echo some of the same principles as HPS, even if they never mention it by name.

Here are a few examples:

1. The Challenger Sale (Matthew Dixon & Brent Adamson)
This approach emphasizes teaching, tailoring, and taking control.  While it still assumes that persuasion plays a role, the Challenger model encourages salespeople to qualify opportunities more rigorously and avoid wasting time on prospects who are unlikely to act.

2. SPIN Selling (Neil Rackham)
SPIN focuses on asking questions that uncover a buyer’s situation, problem, implication, and need-payoff.  It shares some similarities with HPS in that it reduces pressure on the seller to pitch and instead emphasizes discovery.  However, it still assumes the salesperson can lead a prospect to a conclusion through carefully structured questioning.

3. Sandler Selling System
Sandler training stresses equal business stature between buyer and seller, up-front contracts, and disqualifying prospects who are not a good fit.  This alignment with HPS is clear—especially the idea of putting aside low-probability prospects instead of chasing them.  Where it differs is in its continued reliance on techniques for nudging or steering the prospect.

4. Customer-Centric Selling (Michael Bosworth & John Holland)
This framework shifts focus away from persuading and toward facilitating a buying process that is on the customer’s terms.  It emphasizes listening and aligning with the buyer’s goals.  The overlap with HPS lies in respect for the buyer’s decision-making.  Still, it often circles back to “advancing the sale,” which is at odds with the HPS principle of waiting for probability, not possibility.

5. Trust-Based Selling (Charles Green, author of The Trusted Advisor)
This method focuses on transparency, credibility, and focusing on the client’s interests.  It resonates with the HPS principle that trust and respect cannot be manufactured but must arise naturally from communication.  However, it tends to overemphasize relationship-building, which HPS deliberately avoids in the prospecting stage.

The Distinction of High Probability Selling

All of these approaches represent a shift away from the hard-sell tactics that dominated traditional sales training.  They encourage more listening, more honesty, and more focus on whether the buyer is a good fit.  In this way, they resemble HPS.

But the difference is fundamental:  most of these systems still assume that persuasion and influence are essential parts of selling.  High Probability Selling rejects that assumption entirely.  Instead of persuading, HPS is about searching—finding the prospects who want what you are offering, and only then continuing the conversation.

That distinction may seem subtle, but it changes everything.  It frees salespeople from chasing, pushing, or performing.  It also frees prospects from the pressure of being sold to.  What remains is a respectful, efficient, and surprisingly simple way of doing business.

We would love to hear your thoughts on this, even if you disagree (especially if you disagree). Please comment or reply to this post online, so others may benefit from your perspective.

Customers vs Clients in the High Probability Selling World

Customers are often looking for a product or service in the moment. They may or may not buy again, and the interaction tends to be about the transaction itself. Traditional selling methods often chase customers, using persuasion to turn a “no” or a “maybe” into a “yes” right now, with little consideration for longer term business.

Clients, on the other hand, are people who want what you are offering, are prepared to buy, and willingly agree to mutual commitments. The relationship that naturally forms is based on honesty, respect, and trust. In HPS, clients close themselves because they see the value for their reasons and in their own time, and not because you pushed them.

The High Probability Selling method naturally attracts clients more than customers. It is more likely to lead to long-term relationships with people who actually want what you’re offering, instead of trying to convince reluctant buyers.

More and More People Want a Less Manipulative Way of Selling

by Carl Ingalls and ChatGPT

It’s hard to put an exact number on how many people are actively searching for a less manipulative way to sell. But several trends make it clear that demand for a different approach is growing.

Distrust of traditional sales tactics is high.
Studies show that 60% of B2B buyers question the integrity of salespeople, and only about one-third find them genuinely helpful. Buyers want something more authentic.

Top sales performers are less manipulative.
Among high-performing salespeople, most rely little (or not at all) on manipulation. They succeed with honesty and transparency—and experience less stress while earning more trust from their clients.

Honest marketing is in demand.
In a recent U.S. survey, nearly half of respondents defined ethical marketing as truthful and transparent messaging. Three out of four believe companies that commit to ethical marketing will be more successful over the long term.

Even salespeople are speaking up.
On a public sales forum, one person summed it up:

“People love buying but hate being sold.”

The shift is happening. Both buyers and sellers are moving toward authentic, respectful approaches to selling—ways that focus on the real probability of a sale rather than trying to force one into existence.

That’s exactly what High Probability Selling is all about.

Blinded by Love (of what you sell)

Be careful when selling something that seems like a “no brainer”. If the reasons to buy it are so compelling that it sounds too good to be true, this will raise suspicion in the prospect’s mind too often. No amount of logic will overcome that, and it is terribly frustrating to try.

Also, your enthusiasm, even when sincere, is likely to come across like every other excited salesperson trying to push the prospect into a sale.

There is a special way of being that is the ultimate goal of High Probability Selling. And this is how we avoid triggering that general sense of unease a prospect may feel about the salesperson.

That way of being is naturally neutral and objective. No agenda and no attachment to the immediate outcome.

Relationship is Key, Right?

Ok, we can all agree on that one.

However, we might not all agree on the why, when, and how regarding building a relationship.

Here are some of my thoughts.

Why. If our purpose for creating a relationship is to get the prospect to buy from us, then we end up with a synthetic relationship. Too many prospects will see it as fake, which limits trust.

When. Same problem if we push for a relationship too early, while we are still strangers. Start with business, and let the relationship unfold over time. Don’t be in a rush.

How. Let the relationship be built on listening and acceptance, not talking and pushing.

We would all love to hear your thoughts and experiences regarding relationships and selling. Please put your thoughts in comments on this blog post.

Workshop on the Trust and Respect Inquiry (TRI), 3 Sessions, Starting Thu 22 Sep 2022

This what we do in High Probability Selling (HPS) in place of building rapport or creating a relationship. You can read more on the HPS website, at https://www.highprobsell.com/workshops/tri1/

This sales training workshop is 3 sessions, about 2 hours each, spaced 1 week apart. It is conducted as a live video meeting on Zoom, led by Carl Ingalls. It includes demonstrations and exercises. The meeting will be recorded, and the recording will be made available to the participants.

The total price is $382 USD per person.

If you want to take this course, please contact Carl Ingalls. Phone +1-610-627-9030 or email Ingalls@HighProbSell.com.

See the High Probability Selling Calendar for an updated schedule.

If someone says, “Why are you asking me all of these personal questions?”

How do you respond?

First, this almost never happens.  If you are being authentic and sincere, the person you are interviewing will rarely question your motives.

However, students of High Probability Selling worry about lots of things that almost never happen, and they need to have these “what-if” concerns answered before they can move ahead.

Here are two responses that are highly consistent with the principles and attitudes of High Probability Selling.

“I’m learning a new way of getting to know people.”

“This is how I get to know people.”

Do not say, “I’m just curious” or anything else that trivializes what you are doing.

Asking personal questions is what we do in the Trust and Respect Inquiry, which is one of the more advanced discovery tools of High Probability Selling.

This process is described in the book, High Probability Selling, in the chapter titled “Establishing a Relationship”.  For more on this topic, see earlier blog article, “Establishing a Relationship – Revisited“

Comments and questions are welcome