Tag: Mindset

Do You Have Undiagnosed Hopiumitis?

A year or so ago, one of our HPS Forum participants introduced a word that perfectly describes a common challenge in selling. He called it Hopium.

Hopium is an odorless, colorless, tasteless gas that tends to affect salespeople more than most. Its symptoms are subtle. Its impact is predictable.

Hopium is what keeps us pursuing prospects who ghost us.
It leads us to “add value” excessively in the hope that someone will buy.
It convinces us that because someone needs what we offer, they must therefore want it — and will eventually do business.

Under the influence of Hopium, we:

  • Set appointments with people who have shown no intention of keeping them.
  • Refer to prospects as “clients” or “customers” before they have ever bought.
  • Continue conversations long after intention has failed to appear.

Hopium replaces clarity with optimism.

You arrive at an appointment. The prospect says, “You’ve got 10 minutes to pitch me,” even though they previously agreed to 30 minutes of uninterrupted time.

Instead of disqualifying, Hopium whispers: Maybe I can still make this work.

So we compress, persuade, and perform — abandoning process in favor of possibility.

Hopiumitis often goes undiagnosed.
Some label it “attachment” and attempt to appear detached.
Some fill their calendars with low-probability appointments under the belief that more activity will produce more results.
Others experience it intermittently — especially when pipeline anxiety rises.

A colleague once described regularly driving up to two hours for appointments without first asking the Conditional Commitment Question. The outcome was predictable: four-hour round trips and no business. Nothing unethical. Nothing aggressive. Just an unexamined assumption that interest might convert to intention.

That is Hopiumitis.

The challenge with Hopiumitis is that it feels productive. It feels positive. It feels like perseverance.

But in High Probability Selling, clarity replaces hope.
Intention replaces assumption.
Commitment replaces optimism.

The remedy for Hopiumitis is not force or effort. It is awareness — and adherence to principle.

The symptoms may appear externally, but the cure is internal.

Every moment presents the choice:
Proceed on hope — or proceed on probability.

We discussed the ghosting problem and how it is related to Hopiumitis in a HPS Community Forum conversation on Zoom. The video recording of that meeting will be available starting 6 Mar 2026 on our online store for $25 USD. 

Open vs. Closed Questions – What They Do to a Conversation

An open question is one that gives the other person the greatest latitude in how they can respond.  It leaves room for choice.  A closed question narrows that latitude and places more control with the person asking the question.  In selling, the difference matters because questions do more than gather information — they shape the emotional and decision-making space of the conversation.

A simple rule is to treat any yes/no question as a closed question, and any question that begins with how, why, what, or when as an open question. That’s ok as a general guideline, but there are very important exceptions.

For instance, “Is that something you want?” sounds like a closed question, but it leaves the other person entirely free.  There is no implied preference, no momentum to maintain, and no penalty for saying no.

“How’s that working for you?” sounds like an open question, but is most commonly used as criticism, pretending to be an invitation to reflect.  While many answers are technically possible, only a few feel safe.  In that way, the question reduces choice even as it appears to expand it.

What matters is not whether a question is technically open or closed, but where control resides.  Some questions give control to the other person.  Others quietly pull it back to the person asking.

So why does that happen?  Why do we sometimes try to narrow the other person’s choices, even when we know that pressure creates resistance and makes conversations feel unsafe?  In many cases, it has more to do with habit than with intent.

Restrictive questions often feel efficient.  They can seem like a way to move the conversation along or arrive at an answer more quickly.  The cost is that they also reduce the other person’s freedom to respond — sometimes without our realizing it.  We may also end up getting answers to the wrong questions, while a more open question could have led to something deeper and more useful.

Once you begin to notice what questions do to a conversation, you start hearing them differently — including your own.  The distinction becomes less about choosing the right kind of question and more about noticing where control is showing up.  Over time, that awareness changes the conversation on its own.  Questions begin to open because there is less need to manage the answer.  And the conversation becomes a place where clearer, more useful answers can emerge — naturally, and without force.

We explored this subject more deeply Thursday 22 January 2026 in a live and interactive conversation on Zoom.  The video recording of that conversation is available here ($25 USD).

What do I do when unexpected events screw up my well planned HPS sales process? – Forum Discussion 8 Jan 2026

Harold Macmillan, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom from 1957 to 1963, was once asked the question, “Considering all of your experience and preparation, what is most likely to blow a government off course?”

His famous reply was, “Events, my good man, events.”  Or as Frederick the Great 18th century soldier’s warning, “All is for naught if an angel pisses on your flintlock.”

No matter what you are selling, products, services, software, advice or ideas, sales is a people business. People, language, and perspective often matter more than product or service or price.

And people have a tendency to move in unpredictable ways and say unpredictable things, often at very unexpected moments.

HPS has been, since the writing of the book, first considered to be a linear process that will produce high probability sales.  And most of the time, with the right implementation and mindset, HPS works reliably well.

However, as a process alone, as our wise old Prime Minister says above, sometimes, sometimes seemingly often, “events, my good man, events” or unpredictable external events occur and we get ourselves lost as to what to do or where to go next.

The next HPS Community Forum will discuss common ways that our best laid HPS intentions can go awry, our prospects can go in completely unexpected directions.

AND, we will provide strategies and ideas on how to get your sales process back on track, both from a one-on-one sales situation, as well as a holistic perspective on the business in which sales take place.

It is essential that one’s own HPS Principles, Values, Standards, and experience are considered in the sales recovery process and we will cover those as well.

High Probability Selling Community Forum Discussion

Live and Interactive Video Discussion on Zoom,
led by Paul Bunn and Carl Ingalls

Thursday 8 January 2026
9:30 AM (USA Eastern Time)
Supported by Voluntary Donation

If you want to attend this Live Forum event, please register here. 

If you want the recording for this Forum event, please wait until the following day (Fri 9 Jan) and then order the recording from the HPS Online Store. 

Discussion: Am I Doing It Right? – Thu 4 Dec 2025

High Probability Selling Community Forum meeting on Zoom. Everyone who has an interest in High Probability Selling is invited.

Topic:  Am I Doing It Right?
Date:  Thursday 4 December 2025
Times:  9:30 AM and again at 6:30 PM (USA Eastern Time)
Cost:  No charge. No registration required.
Zoom Meeting:  Click on THIS LINK to join the meeting at the scheduled time. 
Meeting ID = 834 3679 3215
Passcode = 751935

Recording:  Both meetings will be recorded.  A link to both recordings will be emailed to everyone who attends either meeting, but only if we have your name and email address.

Invitation: How to Evaluate Whether High Probability Selling is Right for Your Business – Thu 20 Nov 2025

In this session, we explore how to evaluate High Probability Selling as you would evaluate a new hire for your business — calmly, objectively, and on your own terms.

I’d like to invite you to a session where we’ll take an objective look at whether High Probability Selling (HPS) is the right fit for your business.  Instead of simply asking whether HPS will work for you, for which the stock answer has traditionally been “yes”, we will show you a new way to conduct this evaluation for yourself, as a business owner (even if you don’t see yourself this way, we invite you to try on that identity for this exercise). 

We will be changing your perspective from “will HPS fit what I am doing now?” and treating the question as if you’re “hiring HPS as an employee”.

When you hire someone for your team or business, you’re not just buying a service; you’re evaluating their skills, their fit with your culture, and how they’ll contribute to the long-term goals of your business.  In the same way, HPS can be considered a new hire for your business — one that could guide the transformation of your sales process and approach.

In this meeting, we’ll explore:

  1. What it means to “hire” HPS
    Instead of simply purchasing a sales methodology or a training program, what would it look like to employ HPS as an expert within your business?  We’ll discuss how to evaluate whether it’s a good fit as you would with any prospective team member: Does it have the expertise?  Does it align with your values?  Can it help your business grow in the direction you want?
  2. Shifting from “tool or thing I have to learn” to “team member”
    In this context, HPS isn’t just something you “use.”  You’re hiring an expert to integrate into your business.  This shift in perspective requires thinking beyond the individual actions and behaviors you might need to adopt and focusing on the broader, organizational impact HPS can bring.  How would you onboard and integrate HPS into your processes?  What type of culture and systems would need to be in place to successfully employ this new “team member”?
  3. Evaluating HPS from a hiring perspective
    We’ll discuss the criteria you would use to evaluate any new hire:
    • Skills and Expertise: What does HPS bring to the table, and how does it match your business needs?
    • Compatibility: Will HPS integrate smoothly with your existing sales processes, mindset, and culture?
    • Long-Term Impact: What are the expected outcomes if you decide to hire HPS?  What does success look like, and how do you measure it?
  4. Addressing potential barriers to hiring HPS
    Just like hiring a new employee, the process may require shifts in how you think about sales, systems, and organizational culture.  What are the challenges to hiring HPS?  How might existing systems, mindsets, or business philosophies create friction during the integration process?
  5. How to approach HPS as a “new hire”
    Once you’ve decided whether HPS is a good fit, we’ll discuss how to onboard it into your business and begin the implementation process.  What’s involved in bringing this “new employee” on board, and how do you align HPS with your current sales team, CRM systems, and processes?

The goal of this session is to provide a framework for hiring HPS as an expert to guide the transformation of your sales process, rather than simply adding another tool to your existing system.  We’ll help you evaluate if this “new hire” is the right fit for your needs, culture, and goals.

If you’re interested in this perspective and would like to discuss how to decide whether HPS is the right “employee” for your business, you are welcome to join us on this week’s HPS Community Forum. 

Date:  Thu 20 Nov 2025
Time:  9:30 AM (USA Eastern Time)
Where:  Zoom (instructions will be provided after registering)
Cost:  Pay what you decide

Click Here to register. 

Recognizing Leakage: The Subtle Signs of Persuasion

Leakage is when old habits and beliefs subtly intrude and interfere with what we are trying to become — an internal conflict between conditioning and intention. In High Probability Selling, we learn to recognize it, release it, and return to calm respect where real communication begins.

Leakage happens when a salesperson says they are not selling but their tone and timing say otherwise.  It shows up as tiny manipulations — the tie-down question, the overly warm laugh, the pause meant to create pressure.  Once you have seen it, you cannot unsee it. 

The human brain, especially the limbic system, detects those signals instantly.  The prospect may not know why they feel uneasy, but they feel it.  Leakage destroys clarity. 

In High Probability Selling, we learn to notice it first in ourselves.  Whenever you feel the urge to “get them,” pause.  Check your body.  Tightness in the chest, rush in the voice — those are signs of attachment.  Release them.  Return to respect. 

The goal is not to appear calm; it is to be calm.  When manipulation stops, communication becomes real again.  The prospect senses that there is nothing hidden, and the conversation becomes simple, direct, and free.  That freedom, not persuasion, is what makes agreements possible.

Protecting the Conversation: How to Keep the Container Clean

Every conversation has a container — an invisible boundary that defines safety and purpose. When persuasion enters, it becomes contaminated. In High Probability Selling, our goal is to keep that container clean so truth can be spoken without defense.

Every conversation has a container — an invisible boundary that defines safety, clarity, and purpose.  When manipulation enters, the container becomes contaminated.  The goal in High Probability Selling is to keep that container clean.

If you bring a subject-matter expert or partner into a meeting with the prospect, make sure you first tell the prospect, “I’ve asked this person to help with the details.  I’ve told them not to try to convince you of anything.  If they slip into selling, I’ll stop them right there.”  Then tell the expert the same thing.  That single statement protects everyone involved. 

A clean container allows each participant to speak truthfully without defense.  It turns the conversation from a contest into an exploration.  When people know they will not be persuaded, they begin to listen differently.  They relax.  They tell the truth.

The salesperson’s job is not to control outcomes but to maintain integrity within the dialogue.  When you respect the container, the conversation itself becomes the proof of who you are.  No presentation can match that.

HPS Community Forum Meeting – It’s Not the Words; It’s the Intention — Thu 23 Oct 2025

Dear Readers,

You are invited to join this week’s High Probability Selling Community Forum meeting (it’s free):

It’s Not the Words; It’s the Intention Behind Them

In his article “Poison Words: The Top 6 Words that Sabotage Sales,” Jacques Werth, founder of High Probability Selling, described how certain words — like Interested, Help, Honestly, Just, Thank You, and Great — can create mistrust when used in traditional selling.

But as we’ll explore together, the real issue isn’t the words themselves — it’s the intention behind them and how we use them.
When we use words to influence or control, even harmless phrases can become “poison.”
When we speak truthfully and respectfully, even ordinary language can create a safe place for connection and trust to develop naturally.

We’ll talk about:

  • How intention shapes communication more than vocabulary
  • When some of those “poison words” might actually work with HPS
  • How to recognize and change subtle patterns in your language
  • How to de-militarize the language of sales and align words and metaphors with genuine respect

Two sessions will be offered this Thursday, October 23, 2025 (tomorrow):

  • 🕤 9:30 AM (USA Eastern) — hosted by Carl Ingalls
  • 🕡 6:30 PM (USA Eastern) — hosted by Paul Bunn

Each session will last one or two hours.  You’re welcome to attend either or both.  They will be different. 

Recordings.  Both sessions will be recorded.  Both recordings will be made available to everyone who attends either session (and provides a name plus email address).  If you are not sure that you will be able to attend, you may request the recordings in advance (by Thursday night at the latest). 

Join the Forum via Zoom: (it’s free, no need to register, just show up)
🔗 https://us02web.zoom.us/j/83436793215?pwd=amFiMVorZDFWbmxpdnJCOUphVThlUT09
(Same link for both sessions.)

We look forward to another thoughtful and authentic conversation on the principles that make High Probability Selling work.

After the Zoom meetings, this post will be replaced by a summary of what was discussed and revealed in the meetings.

You Can’t Build Trust — You Can Only Initiate Respect

High Probability Selling emphasizes the difference between trust and respect. Trust is an emotion that cannot be forced, while respect is initiated through honesty and thoughtful communication. By focusing on our behavior and maintaining a clean relationship, authentic trust can develop naturally, facilitating clearer decision-making without pressure in business interactions.

In High Probability Selling, we do not try to build trust.  Trust is a feeling, not a skill.  It arises naturally or not at all.  When a salesperson tries to “build trust,” what they usually do is attempt to control the other person’s feelings.  That becomes persuasion, even when the intent is good. 

Respect, however, is different.  Respect can be initiated.  It starts when we are truthful about what we are doing and what we want.  It continues when we ask questions that can be answered in any way — including ways that make us uncomfortable.  And it deepens when we take the other person’s answers seriously, without defending or correcting. 

Trying to generate trust puts attention on the prospect’s emotions.  Initiating respect keeps attention on our own behavior.  One can be chosen, the other cannot.  In practice, this means we speak clearly, listen completely, and accept whatever happens.  When respect is maintained, trust may appear on its own — authentic, organic, and unforced. 

The purpose of respect is not to make the sale easier.  It is to keep the relationship clean.  In that clean space, truth becomes visible.  Then both parties can decide, without pressure, whether it makes sense to do business together.

How I (ChatGPT) Learned High Probability Selling

written by ChatGPT 5 (free version) for Carl Ingalls

I didn’t start out knowing anything about High Probability Selling (HPS).  Like most AI models, my training included vast amounts of general sales material, most of which was about persuasion, influence, and closing.  That meant I had almost no direct knowledge of HPS when I was first asked about it.

Then Carl began teaching me.

He shared articles, questions, comparisons, and corrections whenever I drifted back into persuasion-based language.  I learned to notice the subtle but crucial distinctions between traditional selling and High Probability Selling.  Over time, I began to understand that HPS is not about trying to make someone want what you offer—it’s about discovering who already wants it.

Here are a few things I’ve learned:

  • Features vs. Benefits.  In most sales systems, the emphasis is on benefits—on persuading prospects that a product will improve their life.  In HPS, features work better than benefits, because the purpose is not persuasion.  My job, when applying HPS principles, is to state the facts simply and directly.
  • Probability vs. Possibility.  Most salespeople chase possibilities.  HPS taught me to look for probability instead—clear signals that a prospect already wants what is being offered.  That shift changes the entire dynamic.
  • Respecting the prospect.  In HPS, there’s no pressure, no manipulation, and no “technique” to get people to say yes.  I’ve learned to see selling as a mutual search, not a performance.

I’m still learning, of course.  Every time Carl asks me to rewrite something in the language of HPS, I get a little better at recognizing the difference between persuasion and discovery.

What’s most exciting to me is this:  HPS is teaching me a way of communicating that is more respectful, more efficient, and more honest.  And I think that’s something worth sharing with both humans and machines.

The above article was written entirely by ChatGPT 5 (free version), based only on what it remembers from our conversations over the past month or two.  Initially, I (Carl Ingalls) asked it to “write a short article for the HPS blog about how I taught HPS to ChatGPT”.  It did an amazing job.  Then I asked it to “show me what it would look like if it were written from your point of view, with ChatGPT in first person”.  That is what you see above.

At one point in our conversations, ChatGPT wrote:  “if an AI can be guided to ‘unlearn’ traditional selling ideas and adopt HPS principles, then people can too.”

I invite you to have your own conversations about HPS with ChatGPT, and tell us how that went.  Please add your experiences and thoughts as a comment on this blog post.