Tag: Respect

You Can’t Build Trust — You Can Only Initiate Respect

High Probability Selling emphasizes the difference between trust and respect. Trust is an emotion that cannot be forced, while respect is initiated through honesty and thoughtful communication. By focusing on our behavior and maintaining a clean relationship, authentic trust can develop naturally, facilitating clearer decision-making without pressure in business interactions.

In High Probability Selling, we do not try to build trust.  Trust is a feeling, not a skill.  It arises naturally or not at all.  When a salesperson tries to “build trust,” what they usually do is attempt to control the other person’s feelings.  That becomes persuasion, even when the intent is good. 

Respect, however, is different.  Respect can be initiated.  It starts when we are truthful about what we are doing and what we want.  It continues when we ask questions that can be answered in any way — including ways that make us uncomfortable.  And it deepens when we take the other person’s answers seriously, without defending or correcting. 

Trying to generate trust puts attention on the prospect’s emotions.  Initiating respect keeps attention on our own behavior.  One can be chosen, the other cannot.  In practice, this means we speak clearly, listen completely, and accept whatever happens.  When respect is maintained, trust may appear on its own — authentic, organic, and unforced. 

The purpose of respect is not to make the sale easier.  It is to keep the relationship clean.  In that clean space, truth becomes visible.  Then both parties can decide, without pressure, whether it makes sense to do business together.

Customers vs Clients in the High Probability Selling World

Customers are often looking for a product or service in the moment. They may or may not buy again, and the interaction tends to be about the transaction itself. Traditional selling methods often chase customers, using persuasion to turn a “no” or a “maybe” into a “yes” right now, with little consideration for longer term business.

Clients, on the other hand, are people who want what you are offering, are prepared to buy, and willingly agree to mutual commitments. The relationship that naturally forms is based on honesty, respect, and trust. In HPS, clients close themselves because they see the value for their reasons and in their own time, and not because you pushed them.

The High Probability Selling method naturally attracts clients more than customers. It is more likely to lead to long-term relationships with people who actually want what you’re offering, instead of trying to convince reluctant buyers.

HPS From People Who Have Never Heard of It

That’s how Jacques Werth learned it. He discovered High Probability Selling (HPS) by watching and copying what hundreds of very successful salespeople were doing.

by Carl Ingalls and Paul Bunn

That’s how Jacques Werth learned it. He discovered High Probability Selling (HPS) by watching and copying what hundreds of very successful salespeople were doing. Nobody had a name for it, until Werth created the name and wrote the book.

These top salespeople used a variety of methods, which Werth compiled into a single process. None of them followed that complete process, but most of them followed a common theme, a way of being when they were selling.

The process varied between these salespeople, but their way of being was the same, and that is what we focus on now.

This HPS way of being does not follow the commonly accepted doctrine of selling. Once you look outside of that doctrine (getting people to buy), you may start to see examples of HPS in the broader world around you.

For example, “Do you want to buy some Girl Scout cookies?” is pure and natural HPS. They don’t ask us if we need it. They don’t spin it to make it tastier. We respect them, because they are standing up and asking us a direct question, and they respect us to decide if we want cookies without being persuaded. Mutual respect.

Exercise. Find and note examples of the HPS way of being, and especially from people who have never heard of High Probability Selling.

We will write more about this. Meanwhile, your comments and questions are very much appreciated.

Resistance to Doing the Trust and Respect Inquiry (TRI)

Resistance is a natural reaction to being pushed.  This is a core concept in High Probability Selling (HPS).

If you feel pushed into buying an idea, it’s just like sales resistance.  The more someone tries to convince you, the more the resistance builds.

That’s the problem with the Trust and Respect Inquiry (TRI).  When people sense that it’s being pushed onto them, they resist it.

So who’s doing the pushing, and why?

The authors of the book High Probability Selling felt very passionately about the TRI.  They really wanted people to benefit from this, and that desire came through in their writing.  Passion about what you are selling can make people feel pressured, and I believe that’s what happened here.

We handle this differently today.  Still passionate, but less pushing, and we offer more choices.  We teach a gradual approach to the TRI, and we don’t make it mandatory.

For more information about the TRI:
You Have to Get Personal
Establishing a Relationship – Revisited

Workshops in Dec 2018:  Chapter 12 Updated on Tue 11 Dec for $95

Establishing a Relationship – Revisited

In High Probability Selling (HPS), a relationship is something that comes from doing business, not the other way around.

We do not attempt to steer the relationship.  But we do want to find out what a future relationship might be like with that person.  For instance, will we be able to trust each other?

When we have better information about a person, we make better decisions about whether or how we will do business with them.

How do you find out these things?  You can’t know any of this for 100% certain, but you definitely can improve your odds significantly, by asking questions and listening to answers in a very open way.

It’s an inquiry process.  It is described and discussed in the book High Probability Selling (Chapter 7 – Establishing a Relationship).  However, a few things have changed since that book was written.

  • We no longer call it Establishing a Relationship, because that may imply that we are manufacturing a relationship.  Internally, we call this process the Trust and Respect Inquiry (TRI).  Also, we teach a lighter version of that for beginners, in workshop courses called Getting Personal or Connecting.
  • At one point, the book states, “The process of Establishing a Relationship creates trust.”  We would not say that today.  Trying to use this process to make someone trust you is very likely to backfire.
  • The book also says that this is the single most important step in High Probability Selling.  I agree that this process is the most valuable thing HPS has to offer, but it is a lot bigger than just selling.  Also, some people have been very successful in doing HPS without it.  Therefore, I see its value not as a step in a sale, but rather as a whole way of interacting with people.

There is a previous blog post on the same topic from July 2010, titled Establishing a Relationship.

Workshops in Dec 2018:  Chapter 12 Updated on Tue 11 Dec for $95

 

The “All Buyers Are Liars” Trap

by Jacques Werth and Carl Ingalls

The belief that “all buyers are liars” is a trap.  It sets up the salesperson for failure.

“All buyers are liars” is also a self-perpetuating belief that makes itself true, once you’ve fallen for it.  The belief makes you do things that sabotage trust.  Salespeople who exaggerate the benefits and ignore the negatives can’t be trusted by their prospects, who often respond by lying about their buying intentions.

However, you don’t hear “all buyers are liars” from the top producing salespeople.  They know that they are more likely to get the truth from prospects when they themselves are completely truthful.

Mistrust breeds mistrust.  If you think your buyers are liars, they will probably think the same about you.

Driving Your Customers

Watch your language. Driving is what we do to sheep. Is that how you feel about your customers? If so, it probably shows. If not, then be careful about the language you use, and the messages it sends.

by Carl Ingalls

Watch your language.  Driving is what we do to sheep.  Is that how you feel about your customers?  If so, it probably shows.  If not, then be careful about the language you use, and the messages it sends.

If you don’t respect your customers, and you don’t show this in every detail, you can’t expect them to respect you.  Lack of respect leads to lack of trust, and we all know what that does to sales.