Open vs. Closed Questions – What They Do to a Conversation

An open question is one that gives the other person the greatest latitude in how they can respond.  It leaves room for choice.  A closed question narrows that latitude and places more control with the person asking the question.  In selling, the difference matters because questions do more than gather information — they shape the emotional and decision-making space of the conversation.

A simple rule is to treat any yes/no question as a closed question, and any question that begins with how, why, what, or when as an open question. That’s ok as a general guideline, but there are very important exceptions.

For instance, “Is that something you want?” sounds like a closed question, but it leaves the other person entirely free.  There is no implied preference, no momentum to maintain, and no penalty for saying no.

“How’s that working for you?” sounds like an open question, but is most commonly used as criticism, pretending to be an invitation to reflect.  While many answers are technically possible, only a few feel safe.  In that way, the question reduces choice even as it appears to expand it.

What matters is not whether a question is technically open or closed, but where control resides.  Some questions give control to the other person.  Others quietly pull it back to the person asking.

So why does that happen?  Why do we sometimes try to narrow the other person’s choices, even when we know that pressure creates resistance and makes conversations feel unsafe?  In many cases, it has more to do with habit than with intent.

Restrictive questions often feel efficient.  They can seem like a way to move the conversation along or arrive at an answer more quickly.  The cost is that they also reduce the other person’s freedom to respond — sometimes without our realizing it.  We may also end up getting answers to the wrong questions, while a more open question could have led to something deeper and more useful.

Once you begin to notice what questions do to a conversation, you start hearing them differently — including your own.  The distinction becomes less about choosing the right kind of question and more about noticing where control is showing up.  Over time, that awareness changes the conversation on its own.  Questions begin to open because there is less need to manage the answer.  And the conversation becomes a place where clearer, more useful answers can emerge — naturally, and without force.

We explored this subject more deeply Thursday 22 January 2026 in a live and interactive conversation on Zoom.  The video recording of that conversation is available here ($25 USD).

What do I do when unexpected events screw up my well planned HPS sales process? – Forum Discussion 8 Jan 2026

Harold Macmillan, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom from 1957 to 1963, was once asked the question, “Considering all of your experience and preparation, what is most likely to blow a government off course?”

His famous reply was, “Events, my good man, events.”  Or as Frederick the Great 18th century soldier’s warning, “All is for naught if an angel pisses on your flintlock.”

No matter what you are selling, products, services, software, advice or ideas, sales is a people business. People, language, and perspective often matter more than product or service or price.

And people have a tendency to move in unpredictable ways and say unpredictable things, often at very unexpected moments.

HPS has been, since the writing of the book, first considered to be a linear process that will produce high probability sales.  And most of the time, with the right implementation and mindset, HPS works reliably well.

However, as a process alone, as our wise old Prime Minister says above, sometimes, sometimes seemingly often, “events, my good man, events” or unpredictable external events occur and we get ourselves lost as to what to do or where to go next.

The next HPS Community Forum will discuss common ways that our best laid HPS intentions can go awry, our prospects can go in completely unexpected directions.

AND, we will provide strategies and ideas on how to get your sales process back on track, both from a one-on-one sales situation, as well as a holistic perspective on the business in which sales take place.

It is essential that one’s own HPS Principles, Values, Standards, and experience are considered in the sales recovery process and we will cover those as well.

High Probability Selling Community Forum Discussion

Live and Interactive Video Discussion on Zoom,
led by Paul Bunn and Carl Ingalls

Thursday 8 January 2026
9:30 AM (USA Eastern Time)
Supported by Voluntary Donation

If you want to attend this Live Forum event, please register here. 

If you want the recording for this Forum event, please wait until the following day (Fri 9 Jan) and then order the recording from the HPS Online Store. 

We Are Suckers for the Appearance of Simplicity

Modern systems promise simplicity everywhere we look.
Fewer buttons.  Fewer choices.  Smarter defaults.
“Don’t worry — we know what you want.”

And we fall for it.

But what’s often called simple isn’t simpler.
It’s just less visible.

Instead of asking, systems decide.
Things happen that we didn’t choose.
Nothing feels complicated — until something goes wrong.

Then the work returns to us and becomes our problem:
figuring out what happened
and how to stop it from happening again.

The complexity never disappeared.
It just moved out of sight.

We accept this because we’re busy.  Overloaded.
Anything that promises to “just work” feels like relief.

But there’s a cost.

When understanding is removed along with effort,
control fades.
predictability fades.
trust fades.

Real simplicity doesn’t hide decisions.
It makes them clear.

Once you see the difference,
you see it everywhere.

Discussion: Am I Doing It Right? – Thu 4 Dec 2025

High Probability Selling Community Forum meeting on Zoom. Everyone who has an interest in High Probability Selling is invited.

Topic:  Am I Doing It Right?
Date:  Thursday 4 December 2025
Times:  9:30 AM and again at 6:30 PM (USA Eastern Time)
Cost:  No charge. No registration required.
Zoom Meeting:  Click on THIS LINK to join the meeting at the scheduled time. 
Meeting ID = 834 3679 3215
Passcode = 751935

Recording:  Both meetings will be recorded.  A link to both recordings will be emailed to everyone who attends either meeting, but only if we have your name and email address.

Invitation: How to Evaluate Whether High Probability Selling is Right for Your Business – Thu 20 Nov 2025

In this session, we explore how to evaluate High Probability Selling as you would evaluate a new hire for your business — calmly, objectively, and on your own terms.

I’d like to invite you to a session where we’ll take an objective look at whether High Probability Selling (HPS) is the right fit for your business.  Instead of simply asking whether HPS will work for you, for which the stock answer has traditionally been “yes”, we will show you a new way to conduct this evaluation for yourself, as a business owner (even if you don’t see yourself this way, we invite you to try on that identity for this exercise). 

We will be changing your perspective from “will HPS fit what I am doing now?” and treating the question as if you’re “hiring HPS as an employee”.

When you hire someone for your team or business, you’re not just buying a service; you’re evaluating their skills, their fit with your culture, and how they’ll contribute to the long-term goals of your business.  In the same way, HPS can be considered a new hire for your business — one that could guide the transformation of your sales process and approach.

In this meeting, we’ll explore:

  1. What it means to “hire” HPS
    Instead of simply purchasing a sales methodology or a training program, what would it look like to employ HPS as an expert within your business?  We’ll discuss how to evaluate whether it’s a good fit as you would with any prospective team member: Does it have the expertise?  Does it align with your values?  Can it help your business grow in the direction you want?
  2. Shifting from “tool or thing I have to learn” to “team member”
    In this context, HPS isn’t just something you “use.”  You’re hiring an expert to integrate into your business.  This shift in perspective requires thinking beyond the individual actions and behaviors you might need to adopt and focusing on the broader, organizational impact HPS can bring.  How would you onboard and integrate HPS into your processes?  What type of culture and systems would need to be in place to successfully employ this new “team member”?
  3. Evaluating HPS from a hiring perspective
    We’ll discuss the criteria you would use to evaluate any new hire:
    • Skills and Expertise: What does HPS bring to the table, and how does it match your business needs?
    • Compatibility: Will HPS integrate smoothly with your existing sales processes, mindset, and culture?
    • Long-Term Impact: What are the expected outcomes if you decide to hire HPS?  What does success look like, and how do you measure it?
  4. Addressing potential barriers to hiring HPS
    Just like hiring a new employee, the process may require shifts in how you think about sales, systems, and organizational culture.  What are the challenges to hiring HPS?  How might existing systems, mindsets, or business philosophies create friction during the integration process?
  5. How to approach HPS as a “new hire”
    Once you’ve decided whether HPS is a good fit, we’ll discuss how to onboard it into your business and begin the implementation process.  What’s involved in bringing this “new employee” on board, and how do you align HPS with your current sales team, CRM systems, and processes?

The goal of this session is to provide a framework for hiring HPS as an expert to guide the transformation of your sales process, rather than simply adding another tool to your existing system.  We’ll help you evaluate if this “new hire” is the right fit for your needs, culture, and goals.

If you’re interested in this perspective and would like to discuss how to decide whether HPS is the right “employee” for your business, you are welcome to join us on this week’s HPS Community Forum. 

Date:  Thu 20 Nov 2025
Time:  9:30 AM (USA Eastern Time)
Where:  Zoom (instructions will be provided after registering)
Cost:  Pay what you decide

Click Here to register. 

Pay What You Decide – A Flexible Pricing System

We are introducing a Pay What You Decide option for some HPS events. You choose how much to pay — and you do that for your own reasons.

For some of our upcoming High Probability Selling events, we are introducing a new flexible pricing option: Pay What You Decide.

We will describe the event (or product or service) as clearly as we can. After that, you choose what to pay. Any amount is acceptable, including zero.

Jacques Werth, the founder of High Probability Selling and coauthor of the book, often said:

“People buy in their own time, and for their own reasons.”

People choose how much to pay for many different reasons. Some are practical, some are personal, and some are simply how they feel in the moment. The choice, and the reasons behind that choice, belong entirely to the buyer.

Action Option:
You can see what our flexible pricing looks like here.
(Clicking the link will not add anything to your cart.)

We would love to hear your thoughts on this. Please add a comment to this post, so everyone can follow.

Recognizing Leakage: The Subtle Signs of Persuasion

Leakage is when old habits and beliefs subtly intrude and interfere with what we are trying to become — an internal conflict between conditioning and intention. In High Probability Selling, we learn to recognize it, release it, and return to calm respect where real communication begins.

Leakage happens when a salesperson says they are not selling but their tone and timing say otherwise.  It shows up as tiny manipulations — the tie-down question, the overly warm laugh, the pause meant to create pressure.  Once you have seen it, you cannot unsee it. 

The human brain, especially the limbic system, detects those signals instantly.  The prospect may not know why they feel uneasy, but they feel it.  Leakage destroys clarity. 

In High Probability Selling, we learn to notice it first in ourselves.  Whenever you feel the urge to “get them,” pause.  Check your body.  Tightness in the chest, rush in the voice — those are signs of attachment.  Release them.  Return to respect. 

The goal is not to appear calm; it is to be calm.  When manipulation stops, communication becomes real again.  The prospect senses that there is nothing hidden, and the conversation becomes simple, direct, and free.  That freedom, not persuasion, is what makes agreements possible.

The Small-Town Agent and the Circle of Relationships

In a small town, every sales conversation echoes. In High Probability Selling, manipulation is not just ineffective — it’s dangerous. The small-town agent learns to stay truthful, respectful, and part of the same circle they serve.

Selling in a small town is different.  You are not the chicken dropping an egg and walking away.  You are the pig at breakfast — part of the meal.  Your life and your reputation stay inside the same circle. 

In that environment, High Probability Selling is not optional; it is survival.  Every conversation must be free of manipulation, because every prospect is also a neighbor.  A single attempt at persuasion can ripple for years. 

The small-town agent learns to qualify quickly and clearly.  “No” is not a failure; it is maintenance of peace.  Disqualifying someone for what you offer does not remove them from your circle.  It keeps the circle intact. 

The discipline of neutrality — saying exactly what is so, no more and no less — becomes a way of life.  Respect replaces performance.  When you treat each conversation as part of your ongoing community, not as a transaction, you stop chasing trust and start living inside it.

Adapted from a conversation between Paul Bunn and a student of High Probability Selling.

Protecting the Conversation: How to Keep the Container Clean

Every conversation has a container — an invisible boundary that defines safety and purpose. When persuasion enters, it becomes contaminated. In High Probability Selling, our goal is to keep that container clean so truth can be spoken without defense.

Every conversation has a container — an invisible boundary that defines safety, clarity, and purpose.  When manipulation enters, the container becomes contaminated.  The goal in High Probability Selling is to keep that container clean.

If you bring a subject-matter expert or partner into a meeting with the prospect, make sure you first tell the prospect, “I’ve asked this person to help with the details.  I’ve told them not to try to convince you of anything.  If they slip into selling, I’ll stop them right there.”  Then tell the expert the same thing.  That single statement protects everyone involved. 

A clean container allows each participant to speak truthfully without defense.  It turns the conversation from a contest into an exploration.  When people know they will not be persuaded, they begin to listen differently.  They relax.  They tell the truth.

The salesperson’s job is not to control outcomes but to maintain integrity within the dialogue.  When you respect the container, the conversation itself becomes the proof of who you are.  No presentation can match that.

HPS Community Forum Meeting – It’s Not the Words; It’s the Intention — Thu 23 Oct 2025

Dear Readers,

You are invited to join this week’s High Probability Selling Community Forum meeting (it’s free):

It’s Not the Words; It’s the Intention Behind Them

In his article “Poison Words: The Top 6 Words that Sabotage Sales,” Jacques Werth, founder of High Probability Selling, described how certain words — like Interested, Help, Honestly, Just, Thank You, and Great — can create mistrust when used in traditional selling.

But as we’ll explore together, the real issue isn’t the words themselves — it’s the intention behind them and how we use them.
When we use words to influence or control, even harmless phrases can become “poison.”
When we speak truthfully and respectfully, even ordinary language can create a safe place for connection and trust to develop naturally.

We’ll talk about:

  • How intention shapes communication more than vocabulary
  • When some of those “poison words” might actually work with HPS
  • How to recognize and change subtle patterns in your language
  • How to de-militarize the language of sales and align words and metaphors with genuine respect

Two sessions will be offered this Thursday, October 23, 2025 (tomorrow):

  • 🕤 9:30 AM (USA Eastern) — hosted by Carl Ingalls
  • 🕡 6:30 PM (USA Eastern) — hosted by Paul Bunn

Each session will last one or two hours.  You’re welcome to attend either or both.  They will be different. 

Recordings.  Both sessions will be recorded.  Both recordings will be made available to everyone who attends either session (and provides a name plus email address).  If you are not sure that you will be able to attend, you may request the recordings in advance (by Thursday night at the latest). 

Join the Forum via Zoom: (it’s free, no need to register, just show up)
🔗 https://us02web.zoom.us/j/83436793215?pwd=amFiMVorZDFWbmxpdnJCOUphVThlUT09
(Same link for both sessions.)

We look forward to another thoughtful and authentic conversation on the principles that make High Probability Selling work.

After the Zoom meetings, this post will be replaced by a summary of what was discussed and revealed in the meetings.