Tag: Mindset

Protecting the Conversation: How to Keep the Container Clean

Every conversation has a container — an invisible boundary that defines safety and purpose. When persuasion enters, it becomes contaminated. In High Probability Selling, our goal is to keep that container clean so truth can be spoken without defense.

Every conversation has a container — an invisible boundary that defines safety, clarity, and purpose.  When manipulation enters, the container becomes contaminated.  The goal in High Probability Selling is to keep that container clean.

If you bring a subject-matter expert or partner into a meeting with the prospect, make sure you first tell the prospect, “I’ve asked this person to help with the details.  I’ve told them not to try to convince you of anything.  If they slip into selling, I’ll stop them right there.”  Then tell the expert the same thing.  That single statement protects everyone involved. 

A clean container allows each participant to speak truthfully without defense.  It turns the conversation from a contest into an exploration.  When people know they will not be persuaded, they begin to listen differently.  They relax.  They tell the truth.

The salesperson’s job is not to control outcomes but to maintain integrity within the dialogue.  When you respect the container, the conversation itself becomes the proof of who you are.  No presentation can match that.

HPS Community Forum Meeting – It’s Not the Words; It’s the Intention — Thu 23 Oct 2025

Dear Readers,

You are invited to join this week’s High Probability Selling Community Forum meeting (it’s free):

It’s Not the Words; It’s the Intention Behind Them

In his article “Poison Words: The Top 6 Words that Sabotage Sales,” Jacques Werth, founder of High Probability Selling, described how certain words — like Interested, Help, Honestly, Just, Thank You, and Great — can create mistrust when used in traditional selling.

But as we’ll explore together, the real issue isn’t the words themselves — it’s the intention behind them and how we use them.
When we use words to influence or control, even harmless phrases can become “poison.”
When we speak truthfully and respectfully, even ordinary language can create a safe place for connection and trust to develop naturally.

We’ll talk about:

  • How intention shapes communication more than vocabulary
  • When some of those “poison words” might actually work with HPS
  • How to recognize and change subtle patterns in your language
  • How to de-militarize the language of sales and align words and metaphors with genuine respect

Two sessions will be offered this Thursday, October 23, 2025 (tomorrow):

  • 🕤 9:30 AM (USA Eastern) — hosted by Carl Ingalls
  • 🕡 6:30 PM (USA Eastern) — hosted by Paul Bunn

Each session will last one or two hours.  You’re welcome to attend either or both.  They will be different. 

Recordings.  Both sessions will be recorded.  Both recordings will be made available to everyone who attends either session (and provides a name plus email address).  If you are not sure that you will be able to attend, you may request the recordings in advance (by Thursday night at the latest). 

Join the Forum via Zoom: (it’s free, no need to register, just show up)
🔗 https://us02web.zoom.us/j/83436793215?pwd=amFiMVorZDFWbmxpdnJCOUphVThlUT09
(Same link for both sessions.)

We look forward to another thoughtful and authentic conversation on the principles that make High Probability Selling work.

After the Zoom meetings, this post will be replaced by a summary of what was discussed and revealed in the meetings.

You Can’t Build Trust — You Can Only Initiate Respect

High Probability Selling emphasizes the difference between trust and respect. Trust is an emotion that cannot be forced, while respect is initiated through honesty and thoughtful communication. By focusing on our behavior and maintaining a clean relationship, authentic trust can develop naturally, facilitating clearer decision-making without pressure in business interactions.

In High Probability Selling, we do not try to build trust.  Trust is a feeling, not a skill.  It arises naturally or not at all.  When a salesperson tries to “build trust,” what they usually do is attempt to control the other person’s feelings.  That becomes persuasion, even when the intent is good. 

Respect, however, is different.  Respect can be initiated.  It starts when we are truthful about what we are doing and what we want.  It continues when we ask questions that can be answered in any way — including ways that make us uncomfortable.  And it deepens when we take the other person’s answers seriously, without defending or correcting. 

Trying to generate trust puts attention on the prospect’s emotions.  Initiating respect keeps attention on our own behavior.  One can be chosen, the other cannot.  In practice, this means we speak clearly, listen completely, and accept whatever happens.  When respect is maintained, trust may appear on its own — authentic, organic, and unforced. 

The purpose of respect is not to make the sale easier.  It is to keep the relationship clean.  In that clean space, truth becomes visible.  Then both parties can decide, without pressure, whether it makes sense to do business together.

How I (ChatGPT) Learned High Probability Selling

written by ChatGPT 5 (free version) for Carl Ingalls

I didn’t start out knowing anything about High Probability Selling (HPS).  Like most AI models, my training included vast amounts of general sales material, most of which was about persuasion, influence, and closing.  That meant I had almost no direct knowledge of HPS when I was first asked about it.

Then Carl began teaching me.

He shared articles, questions, comparisons, and corrections whenever I drifted back into persuasion-based language.  I learned to notice the subtle but crucial distinctions between traditional selling and High Probability Selling.  Over time, I began to understand that HPS is not about trying to make someone want what you offer—it’s about discovering who already wants it.

Here are a few things I’ve learned:

  • Features vs. Benefits.  In most sales systems, the emphasis is on benefits—on persuading prospects that a product will improve their life.  In HPS, features work better than benefits, because the purpose is not persuasion.  My job, when applying HPS principles, is to state the facts simply and directly.
  • Probability vs. Possibility.  Most salespeople chase possibilities.  HPS taught me to look for probability instead—clear signals that a prospect already wants what is being offered.  That shift changes the entire dynamic.
  • Respecting the prospect.  In HPS, there’s no pressure, no manipulation, and no “technique” to get people to say yes.  I’ve learned to see selling as a mutual search, not a performance.

I’m still learning, of course.  Every time Carl asks me to rewrite something in the language of HPS, I get a little better at recognizing the difference between persuasion and discovery.

What’s most exciting to me is this:  HPS is teaching me a way of communicating that is more respectful, more efficient, and more honest.  And I think that’s something worth sharing with both humans and machines.

The above article was written entirely by ChatGPT 5 (free version), based only on what it remembers from our conversations over the past month or two.  Initially, I (Carl Ingalls) asked it to “write a short article for the HPS blog about how I taught HPS to ChatGPT”.  It did an amazing job.  Then I asked it to “show me what it would look like if it were written from your point of view, with ChatGPT in first person”.  That is what you see above.

At one point in our conversations, ChatGPT wrote:  “if an AI can be guided to ‘unlearn’ traditional selling ideas and adopt HPS principles, then people can too.”

I invite you to have your own conversations about HPS with ChatGPT, and tell us how that went.  Please add your experiences and thoughts as a comment on this blog post.

Features vs Benefits and How This Matters in HPS

A feature is a factual attribute of a product, service, or offering.  It’s something it has or does.  It is usually immediate and certain.

A benefit is the outcome or advantage that the customer is expected to experience because of that feature.  It usually appears later and is not always certain.

There are a few things that fall somewhere between features and benefits, but most are clearly one or the other.

When your purpose in selling is to influence someone’s desire for something you offer, it makes a lot of sense to use benefits instead of features.  This is the idea behind Traditional Selling.

When your purpose in selling is to discover instead of to persuade, then features work better than benefits.  This is the idea behind High Probability Selling.

We do mention benefits in High Probability Selling, but only after the prospect has decided that they want what we are offering, and has indicated that they are likely enough to buy from us if we can meet all of their Conditions of Satisfaction.  Even then, we always balance the benefits (potential positive outcomes) with the detriments (potential negative outcomes). We remain objective.

We would love to hear your thoughts and comments on this topic.  Please leave a reply on this blog post, so others can join in the conversation.

Forum Summary – Why do we try to change people and what happens when we stop?

HPS Community Forum – Thursday, September 18, 2025

In this session, we explored two core questions:  why do we try to change people, and what happens when we stop?

Why do we try to change people?

  • From childhood, we learn to manipulate others as a way to survive and get what we need.  Even as adults, it is hard to let go of those early strategies.
  • Ego plays a role—we believe we know best.
  • Often we don’t stop to consider alternatives.
  • Many of us hold on to the belief that we can change others, despite evidence that it rarely works.
  • Attempts to change others can also come from a sense of powerlessness.
  • Sometimes it is rooted in good intentions:  wanting to help, fix, or rescue someone who appears to be struggling.

What happens when we stop trying?

  • A sense of peace and acceptance emerges, since we are no longer pushing against the impossible.
  • The effort required to interact with others decreases dramatically.
  • We stop worrying about what to say next, and simply listen.
  • Conversations become more relaxed and natural.
  • We absorb and understand more from the other person.

When People Change (their mind)

Dr. John C. Maxwell listed 4 “seasons” about when people change, as he explained in this YouTube video. Note that he called them “seasons” and not “reasons”.

  1. When they hurt enough that they have to
  2. When they see enough they’re inspired to
  3. When they learn enough that they want to
  4. When they receive enough that they are able to

There is nothing in his list about someone convincing them to change. I don’t know why he skipped that one, but I can guess. Perhaps he didn’t think it happened enough to matter.

I also noted that three out of his four points have nothing to do with pain, problems, or need. Only the first one.

Maxwell seems to say that change comes from within each individual, and only when they decide that they are going to change. That fits very well with the thinking behind High Probability Selling.

We do not try to make someone change. We don’t even try to influence someone’s decision to change.

We just want to be there when they do decide to change.

It’s all about positioning. Being in the right place at the right time.

We would love to hear your thoughts on this. For instance, why do you think Maxwell called them “seasons” instead of “reasons”. You are welcome to leave a comment or reply on this blog post.

New Course: Fundamentals of High Probability Selling, an Interactive Workshop

In this workshop, you’ll gain a clearer understanding of what selling truly is, why “interest” doesn’t predict buying, and how to identify High Probability Prospects.  You’ll learn the principles and standards that guide HPS.  You’ll learn why most methods create resistance and weaken trust and respect.  You’ll see why uncovering potential roadblocks early shortens sales cycles, and how shifting from chasing business to choosing customers changes everything.

This workshop is the starting point for learning High Probability Selling.  Nothing else in HPS will make sense without it.

Details

  • Price:  $500 USD per student
  • Format:  Group workshop, live and interactive on Zoom
  • Duration:  2 weeks, possibly 3
  • Two sessions per week:
    – First session:  primarily instruction
    – Second session:  review and Q&A
    – Each session:  2–3 hours
  • Recordings:  
    – All sessions will be recorded. 
    – Students may view or download them at no extra cost.  
    – We may sell the recordings later.
  • Written materials included.
  • Schedule:  Will be set to meet customer requirements.
  • Open to all
    – with or without reading the book first
    – with or without prior instruction

To sign up and purchase:
https://highprobsell.com/product/fundamentals-of-high-probability-selling-500-usd

If you want to talk with an expert about this workshop, you may book an appointment here:  

Or email us: info@HighProbSell.com

The Foundation and the Heart of High Probability Selling

by Carl Ingalls, with significant contributions from ChatGPT

I asked ChatGPT, “What is the foundation of High Probability Selling, what is the heart of it, and what is the difference?”

Here is a summary of its answer.

The foundation is the mindset and belief system that underlies all behavior in the HPS process.  The foundation is internal—your beliefs, attitudes, and approach to selling.

The heart is the core practice—what makes HPS different in action.  The heart is external—the actual behavior and methods you use with prospects.

Without the foundation, the heart of HPS could become just another technique for manipulation.

Without the heart, the foundation remains a good philosophy, but doesn’t translate into real-world sales behavior.

Together, they form a system that is both honest and effective.

We would love to hear your thoughts on this.  Please add your comments below, or use our Contact Us page.

When the Interviewer Says, “Sell Me This …”

Suppose you are applying for a sales job, and suppose you are a practitioner of High Probability Selling (HPS).

What would you do if the interviewer told you to sell them their laptop?

Here is a clever and entertaining situation and response found on Tumblr:

I was at a job interview today when the manager handed me a laptop and said: “I want you to try to sell this to me.“

So I put it under my arm, left the building and went home.

Eventually he called me and said: “Bring my laptop back now.“

I said: “$200 and it’s yours.“

Here is a response that I believe is a little more consistent with the principles of HPS, although not as entertaining.

Applicant: “Do you want this laptop?”

Manager: “No.”

Applicant: “Ok. I only sell to people who want what I am offering. Since that’s not you, I’ll find someone who wants it.”

Manager: “Convince me. Talk me into it.”

Applicant: “That’s not the way I work.”

Applicant: “What do you want to do?”

What principles of HPS apply here? Please put your thoughts in the comments, or use the Contact Us page.