Giving advice can be tricky. Even when people ask for it, they don’t always accept it—or act on it. In a recent seminar (25 Sep 2025) we explored how to apply the principles of High Probability Selling (HPS) when offering advice, so that the advice is more likely to be welcomed, considered, and used.
We covered very specific examples of how to use HPS when delivering advice, both free advice and paid advice.
Here are a few of the key points covered.
The first principle is making certain that the recipient will value the advice enough to actually want to hear it. The only way to know for sure is to ask.
Another principle is understanding that pushing causes resistance. When you push your advice, even on someone who wants to hear it, they are less likely to accept it. As an alternative, you could tell them what they could do, instead of telling them what they should do. Our passion and strong opinions can get in the way here.
Remember, the advice giver is not the one who will have to live with what happens when the advice is followed. When you make sure the recipient plays a major part in making the final decision without being pushed or even nudged, you provide far more value to the recipient, no matter what they end up deciding.
The full recording of the seminar is available. Regular price is $50 USD. A discount of $25 is available to members of our HPS Community Forum.
HPS Community Forum – Thursday, September 18, 2025
In this session, we explored two core questions: why do we try to change people, and what happens when we stop?
Why do we try to change people?
From childhood, we learn to manipulate others as a way to survive and get what we need. Even as adults, it is hard to let go of those early strategies.
Ego plays a role—we believe we know best.
Often we don’t stop to consider alternatives.
Many of us hold on to the belief that we can change others, despite evidence that it rarely works.
Attempts to change others can also come from a sense of powerlessness.
Sometimes it is rooted in good intentions: wanting to help, fix, or rescue someone who appears to be struggling.
What happens when we stop trying?
A sense of peace and acceptance emerges, since we are no longer pushing against the impossible.
The effort required to interact with others decreases dramatically.
We stop worrying about what to say next, and simply listen.
Conversations become more relaxed and natural.
We absorb and understand more from the other person.
HPS Community Forum Discussion, Thu 3 July 2025 at 9:30 AM (USA Eastern Time)
During our last HPS Forum, one of our participants listed NINE separate sales training systems and trainers he had experienced in over a dozen years of his selling career. There are over 70 sales training systems on the FIRST PAGE of a Google search for sales training.
Most, if not all of them take the same general approach to selling; different tactics, motivation, processes, gurus, and psychological approaches abound. All of them claim to be the end-all-be–all solution to everyone’s selling challenges and woes. On the surface they are different, but underneath all the rhetoric and clever words; down deep they are all the same. They are all founded on unexamined beliefs and thoughts from over 100 years ago.
The one premise that is sacrosanct and is “known” to all is that selling is about getting someone to buy, generally something the salesperson wants to sell but the prospect doesn’t want to buy. Hardly anyone examines those principles and beliefs, and those who do question them are shut down by their managers and trainers.
The few who survive to transcend those beliefs become top producers and are no longer allowed near the group for fear that their perspectives will somehow damage the organization’s precious fragile status quo belief system. They focus their time on the people who are ready to buy and do business. But for heaven’s sake, don’t start thinking like them and scaring the rest of us…
Many of us, myself included, have been tempted by the lure of the irresistible offer… the no-brainer solution… the deal no one can turn down. It’s not some kind of mass gullibility pandemic. It’s unexamined beliefs and thoughts that keep us from a profitable outcome.
On this week’s HPS Forum we will uncover and examine some of these beliefs and thoughts that hold all of us back, waste our time and lives, or frustrate us far more than necessary.
We will, for an hour or so, stop chasing the dream pitch and the offer no one can refuse, and methodically take a real look at our collective and individual beliefs about selling, and share some ways to consider to change our perspectives, and therefore our results for the better.
Notes for the call itself:
Get back to the safety of Groupthink. If there even were people who wanted to buy something, then there would be no need for a salesperson, right?
Nobody BUYS insurance; it HAS TO BE SOLD. Everyone knows that. And nobody (in their “right” mind) questions that because it’s so universally true.
All buyers are liars. Prospects never tell you the truth. Clients ALWAYS keep you from knowing what they can afford.
If there are no objections, then you’re obviously not working hard enough. You can’t afford to leave money on the table.
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High Probability Selling (HPS) is too direct. I can’t communicate that directly with my prospects or clients, because they’ll be offended. And if I offend them by asking direct questions, I will lose the sale.
The reason people buy from me is because I’m so nice to them. Everyone knows that people HAVE to like the salesperson. If I stop being super nice to them, they’ll stop buying from me.
HPS doesn’t require any sucking up or flattery or feigning interest in what the customer likes. But if I don’t find commonality and create rapport, then how can I get them to like me?
HPS will get me less appointments. Sales is a numbers game, and less appointments ALWAYS means less sales.
HPS recommends disqualifying prospects who aren’t ready to do business. I can’t afford to leave money on the table without chasing every single opportunity, no matter how unlikely.
The High Probability Selling book is all about outbound prospecting, and I don’t do outbound prospecting. All my calls are inbound or referral, so there’s no way it will work for me.
The book is based on selling B2B (business to business). I only sell B2C (business to consumer), so it won’t work for me.
I am in financial services, and I do seminar selling, and seminar selling isn’t mentioned in the book, so HPS won’t work for me.
HPS says that you don’t have to educate people to get them to buy. I sell to consumers who never know what they want and can’t make a decision. Unless I am there to tell them what they want and why they want it, I won’t make any sales. So HPS won’t work for me.
The only reason people buy from me is because I’m able to impress them with all of my knowledge and credentials, and unless I wow them more than the other guys, they’re not going to buy from me.
High Probability Selling claims to be selling without needing to overcome objections. But that’s impossible, because everyone knows you have to overcome objections in order to sell anything. My job as a salesperson doesn’t even start until they say “no”.
Order takers aren’t real salespeople. People who get lay-down sales aren’t working hard for it, and I don’t want to be perceived as someone who finds sales easy, so HPS won’t work for me.
HPS is all scripted and C level executives hate scripts, so it won’t work for me.
Success at HPS requires that I keep track of my prospecting and sales activity, and I hate keeping records. I enjoy winging it and going by feel, so HPS isn’t going to work for me.
This is just a few reasons HPS can’t possibly work. There are certainly a lot more. If you have any to contribute, or if you want to learn more, please join us for our next HPS Community Forum meeting (details below).
You are also welcome to add comments to this blog post. We will answer as many as we can.
This meeting will be recorded. A link to the recording will be emailed to the people who attend this meeting. If you want a copy of the recording for this particular meeting, and are not sure that you will be able to attend, please Contact Us and with a request for the recording before the meeting begins.
There is no charge to attend. You are welcome to invite friends and colleagues.
For those of you who have been HPS practitioners for a long time as well as those who have just begun to discover HPS, Discovery Disqualification questions are a key component of the HPS process, typically done during the sales appointment.
As many know and the book discusses, these 12 or 13 questions are designed to discover, inquire about, and negotiate or disqualify the typical deal breakers in a sale. In traditional selling these issues often come up towards the end of the sales appointment, and require a myriad of memorized objection handling and closing tactics in order to chase this herd of deal-breaker cats and get the sale.
In HPS, we ask these questions as soon as possible in the process. Most people who are introduced to that idea find it a groundbreaking concept. And a real relief.
These questions are a great idea, until we go back to the real world, and scare ourselves out of asking them.
We agree they should be used. Most of us understand where the idea of asking them came from. But when the real world is engaged, most HPSers bail out before they ask question 3 at best.
All the questions make perfect sense until we start hoping we don’t have to be that direct.
After all, being that direct might offend someone. Being that direct might make people (us) uncomfortable. And why the heck am I asking these questions anyway? Just cuz some guy named Jacques said so? What could he possibly know about my business? My prospects? My clients? I’m sure they worked great for him, but I’m different.
It turns out that the reason we don’t use them, and the reason some of the more successful practitioners do use them, Is Not What It Seems.
It’s not a thick skin. It’s not being extroverted or introverted. It’s not being detached from the outcome. And it’s certainly not courage. And it’s not training. And it’s not fear by itself.
And “Just Do It” won’t work sustainably enough.
It’s something else. And that something else is a key component to what makes HPS as powerful and distinctive when compared to any other sales process.
And on this forum call we will share that key component, with which all things HPS are based and upon which all successful HPS practitioners found their feet and foundation.
When: Thursday 12 June 2025. We will offer this meeting twice: at 2:00 PM and again at 7:30 PM (USA Eastern Time) Google Calendar Link
[Zoom access details removed]
This meeting will be recorded. A link to the recording will be emailed to the people who request it before or during this meeting. Use our Contact Us page to request the recording.
There is no charge to attend. You are welcome to invite friends and colleagues.
What. We host a series of interactive meetings on Zoom where we talk about High Probability Selling (HPS).
Purpose. To provide a community of like-minded individuals, who would otherwise feel very isolated in a non-HPS world. We talk about HPS, but we do not try to teach how to do it in these meetings.
Who. Anyone who has an interest in High Probability Selling is welcome. No particular background is required. No charge. No registration required. Just show up.
When. We generally offer these forum meetings once per week on Thursdays. Starting time is usually 9:30 AM or 1:30 PM (USA Eastern Time). We are experimenting with different timing, to see what works best for our audience.
Topics. We usually decide what to talk about a few days before each forum meeting. We keep our options open. We welcome suggestions from our audience.
Recording. We record these Zoom meetings. We email each recording link to the people who showed up at that meeting. We will also email it to the people who request the recording ahead of time.
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If you want to be notified by email about the details for each forum meeting, send us your name and email address so we can put you on our mailing list. You can use our Contact Us page for that.
Or, you can see our Google Calendar and search for HPS Community Forum.
A Review of the Neil Myers’ Recording on High Probability Prospects, led by Paul Bunn (recording available here, $50 USD)
This week’s HPS Community Forum will be a live discussion on a previously recorded HPS workshop segment that delivers a mutual understanding of the HPS paradigm shift as it applies to your prospects, markets, and sales experience.
For those of you who are relatively new to HPS, a High Probability Prospect is defined as follows: Someone who needs, wants, and is willing and able to buy from you now, if you can meet the prospect’s conditions of satisfaction.
The challenge of course is, in a world in which salespeople are expected to make people into sales, by the force and irresistible rhetoric of the salesperson’s skills, how could these High Probability Prospects (HPPs) even exist? Why haven’t I seen them before? You have seen them, and you probably have been one, but never realized it.
One of the first steps in being able to “see” these HPPs is to realize they not only exist, but they have been right under our collective noses for decades. Like other perspective shift experiences, realizing the presence of these HPPs is like viewing auto-stereograms, also known as Magic Eye 3D, (see Hidden Illusions That’ll Make Your Brain Hurt on BuzzFeed).
Once you’ve seen the hidden image, seeing it again gets easier and easier through practice. This HPS Forum session is intended to provide a similar “aha” level of awareness of the paradigm shift, which will provide a foundation for understanding and implementing HPS with minimal stress and effort.
By the end of this session, you should be able to answer the following FAQs: Do HPPs really exist? What creates HPPs? Who creates HPPs? What exactly are they? How have I missed seeing them before? Can HPPs be created by me? Are there enough of them out there?
This meeting will be recorded. A link to the recording will be emailed to the people who attend this meeting. If you want a copy of the recording for this particular meeting, and are not sure that you will be able to attend, please let us know before the meeting begins.
There is no charge to attend. You are welcome to invite friends and colleagues.
An interactive learning session presented by: Nick Ruben, co-author of “High Probability Selling” and author of “How to Be a World Class Listener”. Nick was the original HPS workshop leader and has also trained companies and organizations in improving their listening skills for nearly two decades since.
In HPS, we often say that we are “listening our way to a sale” but we haven’t yet explained simply enough how to do that. HPS has elements of focused listening in the Relationship Inquiry, which for many of us has been daunting. Nick’s book helped us understand that great listening can be applied to all of HPS, not only in certain parts.
While this will essentially be an introduction, as Nick’s full course consists of an entire day, you will likely gain a deeper insight into what great listening is all about, as well as how listening relates to HPS and can improve your relationships in business and in life.
This meeting will be recorded. A link to the recording will be emailed to the people who attend this meeting. If you want a copy of the recording for this particular meeting, and are not sure that you will be able to attend, please respond to this email with a request for the recording before the meeting begins.
There is no charge to attend. You are welcome to invite friends and colleagues.
This live and interactive discussion is specifically intended for Consultants, Advisors, and Coaches, but anyone who is interested is welcome to join us. No particular background in HPS is necessary.
Wednesday, January 31: HPS Community Forum – The Get
Date: Wed 31 Jan 2024 Time: 10:00am USA Eastern Time Presenter: Paul Bunn, with assistance from Carl Ingalls No charge. Registration required. Featured topic: More about The Get
To register for this series of events, please send us your full name and your email address. A phone number is helpful, but optional. You can email us at info@HighProbSell.com or use our Contact Us webform. After we receive your registration info, we will send you the Zoom instructions by email.
The HPS Community Forum is intended for people who are already familiar with High Probability Selling.
Thursday, February 1: Open Discussion – Outreach With High Probability Selling – an Introduction
Date : Thu 1 Feb 2024 Time: 2:00pm USA Eastern Time Presenter: Paul Bunn and Carl Ingalls No charge. No registration required.
