Author: Paul Bunn

Practitioner, student, and trainer and coach in High Probability Selling for over a quarter century.

You Can’t Build Trust — You Can Only Initiate Respect

High Probability Selling emphasizes the difference between trust and respect. Trust is an emotion that cannot be forced, while respect is initiated through honesty and thoughtful communication. By focusing on our behavior and maintaining a clean relationship, authentic trust can develop naturally, facilitating clearer decision-making without pressure in business interactions.

In High Probability Selling, we do not try to build trust.  Trust is a feeling, not a skill.  It arises naturally or not at all.  When a salesperson tries to “build trust,” what they usually do is attempt to control the other person’s feelings.  That becomes persuasion, even when the intent is good. 

Respect, however, is different.  Respect can be initiated.  It starts when we are truthful about what we are doing and what we want.  It continues when we ask questions that can be answered in any way — including ways that make us uncomfortable.  And it deepens when we take the other person’s answers seriously, without defending or correcting. 

Trying to generate trust puts attention on the prospect’s emotions.  Initiating respect keeps attention on our own behavior.  One can be chosen, the other cannot.  In practice, this means we speak clearly, listen completely, and accept whatever happens.  When respect is maintained, trust may appear on its own — authentic, organic, and unforced. 

The purpose of respect is not to make the sale easier.  It is to keep the relationship clean.  In that clean space, truth becomes visible.  Then both parties can decide, without pressure, whether it makes sense to do business together.

The Power of a Positive Last Impression

There was a recent blog post on the benefits of hearing a quick “no” when prospecting. Here are some additional thoughts on that concept. When non-HPS salespeople hear you accept “no” for an answer, it goes against all of their traditional and logical sales indoctrination. Some say it’s counter-cultural, counter-productive, and at least counterintuitive.

They say you’re giving up control of the sale to the prospect. That you lost a sale. The truth is that you can’t lose what you never had in the first place.

And when you stop clinging to every potential “yes,” you actually regain control of your business.

When you accept a “not now” without resistance:

  • You free yourself to find the next “yes now.”
  • Everyone leaves with a positive last impression— which matters more than you think. Even more than a first impression.
  • A positive last impression creates a future opening— a chance for the next impression. And the next and the next.

It may feel unnatural at first. But letting go of the need to get what you think you need this time opens the possibility of a next time, when the prospect is ready—and doing so with integrity throughout the process.

You have a choice in every sales conversation, and you are in complete control of your choice:

  • You can attempt to drag out a fight with reality, or
  • You can create a memory of effortless collaboration and respect.

You wanted a “yes.” You didn’t get it. That’s okay. You still get to choose how you show up.

Because by giving your prospect the power to say “no,” you also keep your power to continue.

Why do they keep talking?

I have been cold call prospected at least 3 times this week. Yes, I still answer my phone.  Yes, I was born in the 1900s with all the other Luddites. 

And although it is currently not the 1900s, one persistent belief is still alive and kicking in sales.  The innocuous act of filling out an online lead magnet for some information by email has many hidden meanings.

One of those hidden meanings to many business people is that providing one’s email address to a business is immediately equated to becoming a hot lead for their product or service.

Fearing that my interest in their offering may suddenly go cold in 20 minutes, my phone rings and I answer it.  The call begins, most recently, with me trying to comprehend who the caller is and what they are offering.

The telephone prospector, often using a far eastern dialect (or AI) speaks as if we are in the latter part of an ongoing sales conversation.  They seem to believe that I already understand who they are and which company they are representing, because they rattle it off as if it’s a household name with instant recognition.  I am now of course confused at best.

For me, their business is not a household name. I don’t even remotely understand the caller’s name, if they even mentioned it. Their voice speeds up as the call goes further, perhaps trying to get in as many words as possible before I hang up?

30 long seconds into the call, I am absorbing less and less about what they are selling or offering.  They have spoken something like 150 plus words so far, most of which I can’t understand or relate to.  My brain has closed off 90 percent of my listening at this point.

Then it is time in their script to pitch the appointment with rhetoric promising the saving of time or the saving of money, which of course everyone will agree about.  When this approach doesn’t work, they try the alternate choice close on the appointment date and time.  At least 3 or 4 times.

By this time in their process, I no longer understand what they are selling, AND I no longer care.  All I want to do is to get off the phone.

I finally get a moment where I can interject something like, “I don’t have time for this and don’t need an appointment”.

My effort to be polite is of course ignored by the caller, who continues to repeatedly push for the appointment, while also claiming their intent to be brief.

I say no thank you, I don’t want an appointment because I have no idea what they’re even selling.

They finally say something least leaning towards goodbye, but then they have to profusely thank me for taking the time to listen to them and answer all of their shallow questions while they try one more time to set an appointment!

All I can think of at this point is WHY WHY WHY do they keep talking?  Everyone advises hanging up on them, sometimes preceded by an expletive, but with my brain offline, that’s easier said than done.

It’s 2025, aren’t they tired of all this talking yet?  I sure am.

Discovering Beliefs About Selling That May Be Holding You Back

Black and white portrait of a man with curly hair and a mustache, accompanied by a quote from Mark Twain about knowledge and trouble.

HPS Community Forum Discussion, Thu 3 July 2025 at 9:30 AM (USA Eastern Time)

During our last HPS Forum, one of our participants listed NINE separate sales training systems and trainers he had experienced in over a dozen years of his selling career.  There are over 70 sales training systems on the FIRST PAGE of a Google search for sales training. 

Most, if not all of them take the same general approach to selling; different tactics, motivation, processes, gurus, and psychological approaches abound.  All of them claim to be the end-all-be–all solution to everyone’s selling challenges and woes.  On the surface they are different, but underneath all the rhetoric and clever words; down deep they are all the same.  They are all founded on unexamined beliefs and thoughts from over 100 years ago.

The one premise that is sacrosanct and is “known” to all is that selling is about getting someone to buy, generally something the salesperson wants to sell but the prospect doesn’t want to buy.  Hardly anyone examines those principles and beliefs, and those who do question them are shut down by their managers and trainers.

The few who survive to transcend those beliefs become top producers and are no longer allowed near the group for fear that their perspectives will somehow damage the organization’s precious fragile status quo belief system.  They focus their time on the people who are ready to buy and do business.  But for heaven’s sake, don’t start thinking like them and scaring the rest of us…

Many of us, myself included, have been tempted by the lure of the irresistible offer… the no-brainer solution… the deal no one can turn down.  It’s not some kind of mass gullibility pandemic.  It’s unexamined beliefs and thoughts that keep us from a profitable outcome.

On this week’s HPS Forum we will uncover and examine some of these beliefs and thoughts that hold all of us back, waste our time and lives, or frustrate us far more than necessary.

We will, for an hour or so, stop chasing the dream pitch and the offer no one can refuse, and methodically take a real look at our collective and individual beliefs about selling, and share some ways to consider to change our perspectives, and therefore our results for the better.

Notes for the call itself:

  • Get back to the safety of Groupthink.  If there even were people who wanted to buy something, then there would be no need for a salesperson, right?
  • Nobody BUYS insurance; it HAS TO BE SOLD.  Everyone knows that.  And nobody (in their “right” mind) questions that because it’s so universally true.
  • All buyers are liars.  Prospects never tell you the truth.  Clients ALWAYS keep you from knowing what they can afford.
  • If there are no objections, then you’re obviously not working hard enough.  You can’t afford to leave money on the table.

Zoom Details Below

When:  Thursday 3 July 2025 at 9:30 AM (USA Eastern Time)
Google Calendar Link

To join this Zoom meeting (at the correct date and time), please click on this link.
[removed]

If you want to join the meeting by voice phone instead (audio only, no video), find your local number here and dial it from your phone:  
https://us02web.zoom.us/u/kcgbhyheSS
You will need to enter the following:
  Meeting ID:
  Passcode:

This meeting will be recorded.  A link to the recording will be emailed to the people who attend this meeting.  If you want a copy of the recording for this particular meeting, and are not sure that you will be able to attend, please respond to this email with a request for the recording before the meeting begins.

There is no charge to attend.  You are welcome to invite friends and colleagues.

No bots are allowed.  This includes AI note-takers and recorders.  Humans only. 

Perfectly Logical Reasons Why High Probability Selling Cannot Possibly Work

  1. High Probability Selling (HPS) is too direct.  I can’t communicate that directly with my prospects or clients, because they’ll be offended.  And if I offend them by asking direct questions, I will lose the sale.
  2. The reason people buy from me is because I’m so nice to them.  Everyone knows that people HAVE to like the salesperson.  If I stop being super nice to them, they’ll stop buying from me.
  3. HPS doesn’t require any sucking up or flattery or feigning interest in what the customer likes.  But if I don’t find commonality and create rapport, then how can I get them to like me?
  4. HPS will get me less appointments.  Sales is a numbers game, and less appointments ALWAYS means less sales.
  5. HPS recommends disqualifying prospects who aren’t ready to do business.  I can’t afford to leave money on the table without chasing every single opportunity, no matter how unlikely.
  6. The High Probability Selling book is all about outbound prospecting, and I don’t do outbound prospecting.  All my calls are inbound or referral, so there’s no way it will work for me.
  7. The book is based on selling B2B (business to business).  I only sell B2C (business to consumer), so it won’t work for me.
  8. I am in financial services, and I do seminar selling, and seminar selling isn’t mentioned in the book, so HPS won’t work for me.
  9. HPS says that you don’t have to educate people to get them to buy.  I sell to consumers who never know what they want and can’t make a decision.  Unless I am there to tell them what they want and why they want it, I won’t make any sales.  So HPS won’t work for me.
  10. The only reason people buy from me is because I’m able to impress them with all of my knowledge and credentials, and unless I wow them more than the other guys, they’re not going to buy from me.
  11. High Probability Selling claims to be selling without needing to overcome objections.  But that’s impossible, because everyone knows you have to overcome objections in order to sell anything.  My job as a salesperson doesn’t even start until they say “no”.
  12. Order takers aren’t real salespeople.  People who get lay-down sales aren’t working hard for it, and I don’t want to be perceived as someone who finds sales easy, so HPS won’t work for me.
  13. HPS is all scripted and C level executives hate scripts, so it won’t work for me.
  14. Success at HPS requires that I keep track of my prospecting and sales activity, and I hate keeping records.  I enjoy winging it and going by feel, so HPS isn’t going to work for me.

This is just a few reasons HPS can’t possibly work.  There are certainly a lot more.  If you have any to contribute, or if you want to learn more, please join us for our next HPS Community Forum meeting (details below).

You are also welcome to add comments to this blog post.  We will answer as many as we can.

When:  Thursday 19 June 2025 at 9:30 AM (USA Eastern Time)
Google Calendar Link

[Zoom access details removed]

This meeting will be recorded.  A link to the recording will be emailed to the people who attend this meeting.  If you want a copy of the recording for this particular meeting, and are not sure that you will be able to attend, please Contact Us and with a request for the recording before the meeting begins.

There is no charge to attend.  You are welcome to invite friends and colleagues.

Discovery/Disqualification Questions – Who really uses them?

For those of you who have been HPS practitioners for a long time as well as those who have just begun to discover HPS, Discovery Disqualification questions are a key component of the HPS process, typically done during the sales appointment.

As many know and the book discusses, these 12 or 13 questions are designed to discover, inquire about, and negotiate or disqualify the typical deal breakers in a sale. In traditional selling these issues often come up towards the end of the sales appointment, and require a myriad of memorized objection handling and closing tactics in order to chase this herd of deal-breaker cats and get the sale.

In HPS, we ask these questions as soon as possible in the process. Most people who are introduced to that idea find it a groundbreaking concept. And a real relief.

These questions are a great idea, until we go back to the real world, and scare ourselves out of asking them.

We agree they should be used. Most of us understand where the idea of asking them came from. But when  the real world is engaged, most HPSers bail out before they ask question 3 at best.

All the questions make perfect sense until we start hoping we don’t have to be that direct.

After all, being that direct might offend someone. Being that direct might make people (us) uncomfortable. And why the heck am I asking these questions anyway? Just cuz some guy named Jacques said so? What could he possibly know about my business? My prospects? My clients? I’m sure they worked great for him, but I’m different. 

It turns out that the reason we don’t use them, and the reason some of the more successful practitioners do use them, Is Not What It Seems.

It’s not a thick skin. It’s not being extroverted or introverted. It’s not being detached from the outcome. And it’s certainly not courage. And it’s not training. And it’s not fear by itself.

And “Just Do It” won’t work sustainably enough.

It’s something else. And that something else is a key component to what makes HPS as powerful and distinctive when compared to any other sales process.

And on this forum call we will share that key component, with which all things HPS are based and upon which all successful HPS practitioners found their feet and foundation.

When:  Thursday 12 June 2025. We will offer this meeting twice: at 2:00 PM and again at 7:30 PM (USA Eastern Time)
Google Calendar Link  

[Zoom access details removed]

This meeting will be recorded.  A link to the recording will be emailed to the people who request it before or during this meeting.  Use our Contact Us page to request the recording.

There is no charge to attend.  You are welcome to invite friends and colleagues.

Mystery of Sales Strategy – The Probability Game

Sales can be a bit of a mystery to many people.

People who do it, people who see it done, and the people who have never seen it done, but think they have. 

It has existed for a long, long time in the category of business alchemy and marketing. 

In the world of alchemy, what makes sense doesn’t work. What doesn’t make sense suddenly works. And then when we make sense of that, it doesn’t work anymore.

We look under every rock and internet resource and folklore and the rumor mill, constantly seeking that magic formula that will produce the results we seek.

The result we seek is for someone to say yes. 

In conventional sales techniques, gurus are all promising that they have the secret way to get everybody to say yes 100% of the time.

It’s been more than 100 years since assembly line style of scientific psycho selling has been invented.

We are all searching and seeking, drunk on dopamine that this one thing will be the one, the Holy Grail, the one phrase, the magic word, the technique that will get everyone we call and everyone we sit in front of and everyone we meet with to say, “Yes, where have you been my whole life?” 

Then something works.  We hear the yeses.  We draw the conclusion that we’ve been waiting for decades to draw, that we finally found the formula. 

So if an unexpected number of prospects say yes, when I’m using a technique that I picked up from a YouTube video by Jim Bandersnatch, then that’s why all those people, all of a sudden, said yes.  So now whenever I sell, I’m going to make sure I use the Bandersnatch technique, because that’s what made them say yes.

And of all the products and services that I sell, if the emotional charge, the emotional bookmark, the feeling was powerful enough when an unexpected person or persons said yes, then I become completely smitten with that particular product.  Because that product is the one that sells itself, a no-brainer.

And since I love the feeling of people saying yes, and I love the feeling associated of people buying from me, and I love the accolades that I get from people buying from me more than they buy from anyone else, then I’m going to chase that feeling constantly, even after conditions have changed.

Even after prospects (also known as people who are extraordinarily illogical) have changed their minds about the wonder product that I’m convinced will never stop selling, and they all stop buying it, even when I use the Bandersnatch technique.

So when things are working, whatever that means for us, and we happen to be using the Bandersnatch technique, and we keep our rabbit’s foot in our left pocket and a silver dollar in our right pocket, and we wear our shoes on the opposite feet, we don’t stop to inquire.

We’re like the gambler who thinks that they’re on a winning streak.

We worry about being attached to the outcome of a sale.  We’re not attached to the outcome of a sale. We’re attached to the feeling.  We’re attached to the thought that we found the magical combination of random factors that will produce the feeling that we’ve been seeking.

Casinos make billions of dollars off of that feeling, and normally intelligent, practical people, driven most of the time by common sense, will hand their money over to a casino as soon as they have had the feeling of getting lucky.

Now the professional poker player knows that the feeling of winning and the feeling of being lucky is the precursor to the apocalypse.

The professional poker player is a statistician.  Even when playing against people, they work in the field of mathematical probabilities, because they don’t give two craps about the feeling of winning.  They’re motivated by profit. Profit respects probabilities, and profit doesn’t care at all about feelings, and profit doesn’t care about beliefs.  Professional poker players laugh hysterically at beliefs. 

Most salespeople (at least the lower 99% according to our research and observation) run entirely on feelings, beliefs, hope and superstition.  The top 1% of salespeople operate on probabilities.  Real questions, definitive answers, real data, and they never ever operate on beliefs or hopium.

Jacques Werth dreamed of introducing High Probability Selling to a world full of super superstition.  He hoped that a straightforward, transparent sales process based on things like mutual respect and trust (like he observed and codified from three or four decades of observing top salespeople) would change the world.

It would somehow provide an alternative Way Of Being for salespeople (and those who find themselves having to do sales-like things in work, business and life).  This alternative way of being, way of interacting, way of communicating is based on probabilities.

It’s not exciting.  It doesn’t generate adrenaline.

When they made a sale or someone bought something from them, none of the top salespeople he studied did a happy dance.  They knew better than to establish for themselves an emotional bookmark, or even to consider that they would connect a specific technique or phrase and relate that directly to the fact that a client or prospect purchased their product. 

They knew intuitively that if they just showed up statistically at the right time and place, when their prospects and customers were ready to buy, that all that hope and all that attachment to the magic technique and the Holy Grail would actually stop and get in the way of business being done.

So what they really did was they figured out a way to reverse engineer the typical conventional assembly line sales process that everyone was taught, including them, and they removed all the parts of it that get in the way of doing business. 

All of the beliefs about making someone buy, the beliefs about manipulation, the beliefs about if I just use the right words, the beliefs about if I just used the Bandersnatch technique, all the beliefs, superstitions, where to put the rabbit’s foot, putting the silver dollar in the right pocket instead of the left pocket, wearing the right clothes, driving the right car, living in the right house, all the bullshit, all of the trappings of someone who is playing a sales game, instead of finding and doing business with people who want to do business.  

And unless you’re a professional poker player, stay the hell out of a casino if you have any propensity of thinking it’s about luck.  It’s actually High Probability Selling.  The casino is playing the probability game too, and the House never loses until someone comes in who’s playing the probability game against them.  And then they get nervous.

Where the Heck Are These High Probability Prospects Anyway?

A Review of the Neil Myers’ Recording on High Probability Prospects, led by Paul Bunn (recording available here, $50 USD)

This week’s HPS Community Forum will be a live discussion on a previously recorded HPS workshop segment that delivers a mutual understanding of the HPS paradigm shift as it applies to your prospects, markets, and sales experience. 

For those of you who are relatively new to HPS, a High Probability Prospect is defined as follows:  Someone who needs, wants, and is willing and able to buy from you now, if you can meet the prospect’s conditions of satisfaction.

The challenge of course is, in a world in which salespeople are expected to make people into sales, by the force and irresistible rhetoric of the salesperson’s skills, how could these High Probability Prospects (HPPs) even exist?  Why haven’t I seen them before?  You have seen them, and you probably have been one, but never realized it.

One of the first steps in being able to “see” these HPPs is to realize they not only exist, but they have been right under our collective noses for decades.  Like other perspective shift experiences, realizing the presence of these HPPs is like viewing auto-stereograms, also known as Magic Eye 3D, (see Hidden Illusions That’ll Make Your Brain Hurt on BuzzFeed).

Once you’ve seen the hidden image, seeing it again gets easier and easier through practice. This HPS Forum session is intended to provide a similar “aha” level of awareness of the paradigm shift, which will provide a foundation for understanding and implementing HPS with minimal stress and effort.

By the end of this session, you should be able to answer the following FAQs:
Do HPPs really exist?
What creates HPPs?
Who creates HPPs?
What exactly are they?
How have I missed seeing them before?
Can HPPs be created by me?
Are there enough of them out there?

When:  Thursday 5 June 2025 at 9:30 AM (USA Eastern Time)
Google Calendar Link

[Zoom access details removed]

This meeting will be recorded.  A link to the recording will be emailed to the people who attend this meeting.  If you want a copy of the recording for this particular meeting, and are not sure that you will be able to attend, please let us know before the meeting begins.

There is no charge to attend.  You are welcome to invite friends and colleagues.

Introduction to How to Be a World-Class Listener, HPS Community Forum on Thu 22 May 2025

An interactive learning session presented by:  Nick Ruben, co-author of “High Probability Selling” and author of “How to Be a World Class Listener”.   Nick was the original HPS workshop leader and has also trained companies and organizations in improving their listening skills for nearly two decades since.

In HPS, we often say that we are “listening our way to a sale” but we haven’t yet explained simply enough how to do that.  HPS has elements of focused listening in the Relationship Inquiry, which for many of us has been daunting.  Nick’s book helped us understand that great listening can be applied to all of HPS, not only in certain parts.

While this will essentially be an introduction, as Nick’s full course consists of an entire day, you will likely gain a deeper insight into what great listening is all about, as well as how listening relates to HPS and can improve your relationships in business and in life.

When:  Thursday 22 May 2025 at 9:30 AM (USA Eastern Time)
Google Calendar Link

[Zoom access details removed]

This meeting will be recorded.  A link to the recording will be emailed to the people who attend this meeting.  If you want a copy of the recording for this particular meeting, and are not sure that you will be able to attend, please respond to this email with a request for the recording before the meeting begins.

There is no charge to attend.  You are welcome to invite friends and colleagues.

De-Militarizing the Language of Sales

We tend to speak in the language that we think.  The reverse is also true.  Yet, outside of scripting, we tend to pay very little attention to our words spoken and thought.

Words thought and spoken, before, during and after a sales interaction will affect your mindset, which will affect mutual trust and respect.  Whether these words, and their associated behaviors and perceptions increase or decrease trust and respect is up to you and your awareness.

War and Military Terms Used in Sales and Marketing
Killing it
Crushing it
Nailed it
Target marketing
Targeted businesses
Closing (with the enemy; in-range)
Tactics
Strategy
Campaign
Sales Force
Captive (agent)
Capture (Lead information)
Resources
Guerilla Marketing – asymmetrical warfare
Overcome
Lay-down sale (implies surrender and submission)
Hunter (type of salesperson)
A hunter eats what they kill (quote from a hunter)
Winning sales
Losing sales

These terms create an adversarial relationship with the prospect.  They also dehumanize the other person, which may help to justify mistreatment and violence.

You often hear warlike language in sales and business culture today.  You might even use some of it yourself.

If you want to change that:
Step One:  Acknowledge your current state
Step Two:  Understand your WHY for your current state
Step Three:  Understand your WHY for your desired state
Step Four:  Test and implement new words

Here are some thoughts from other writers:

Please add your own thoughts in the comments below.