Author: Carl Ingalls

Administrator for High Probability Selling Blog

Open vs. Closed Questions – What They Do to a Conversation

An open question is one that gives the other person the greatest latitude in how they can respond.  It leaves room for choice.  A closed question narrows that latitude and places more control with the person asking the question.  In selling, the difference matters because questions do more than gather information — they shape the emotional and decision-making space of the conversation.

A simple rule is to treat any yes/no question as a closed question, and any question that begins with how, why, what, or when as an open question. That’s ok as a general guideline, but there are very important exceptions.

For instance, “Is that something you want?” sounds like a closed question, but it leaves the other person entirely free.  There is no implied preference, no momentum to maintain, and no penalty for saying no.

“How’s that working for you?” sounds like an open question, but is most commonly used as criticism, pretending to be an invitation to reflect.  While many answers are technically possible, only a few feel safe.  In that way, the question reduces choice even as it appears to expand it.

What matters is not whether a question is technically open or closed, but where control resides.  Some questions give control to the other person.  Others quietly pull it back to the person asking.

So why does that happen?  Why do we sometimes try to narrow the other person’s choices, even when we know that pressure creates resistance and makes conversations feel unsafe?  In many cases, it has more to do with habit than with intent.

Restrictive questions often feel efficient.  They can seem like a way to move the conversation along or arrive at an answer more quickly.  The cost is that they also reduce the other person’s freedom to respond — sometimes without our realizing it.  We may also end up getting answers to the wrong questions, while a more open question could have led to something deeper and more useful.

Once you begin to notice what questions do to a conversation, you start hearing them differently — including your own.  The distinction becomes less about choosing the right kind of question and more about noticing where control is showing up.  Over time, that awareness changes the conversation on its own.  Questions begin to open because there is less need to manage the answer.  And the conversation becomes a place where clearer, more useful answers can emerge — naturally, and without force.

We explored this subject more deeply Thursday 22 January 2026 in a live and interactive conversation on Zoom.  The video recording of that conversation is available here ($25 USD).

We Are Suckers for the Appearance of Simplicity

Modern systems promise simplicity everywhere we look.
Fewer buttons.  Fewer choices.  Smarter defaults.
“Don’t worry — we know what you want.”

And we fall for it.

But what’s often called simple isn’t simpler.
It’s just less visible.

Instead of asking, systems decide.
Things happen that we didn’t choose.
Nothing feels complicated — until something goes wrong.

Then the work returns to us and becomes our problem:
figuring out what happened
and how to stop it from happening again.

The complexity never disappeared.
It just moved out of sight.

We accept this because we’re busy.  Overloaded.
Anything that promises to “just work” feels like relief.

But there’s a cost.

When understanding is removed along with effort,
control fades.
predictability fades.
trust fades.

Real simplicity doesn’t hide decisions.
It makes them clear.

Once you see the difference,
you see it everywhere.

Discussion: Am I Doing It Right? – Thu 4 Dec 2025

High Probability Selling Community Forum meeting on Zoom. Everyone who has an interest in High Probability Selling is invited.

Topic:  Am I Doing It Right?
Date:  Thursday 4 December 2025
Times:  9:30 AM and again at 6:30 PM (USA Eastern Time)
Cost:  No charge. No registration required.
Zoom Meeting:  Click on THIS LINK to join the meeting at the scheduled time. 
Meeting ID = 834 3679 3215
Passcode = 751935

Recording:  Both meetings will be recorded.  A link to both recordings will be emailed to everyone who attends either meeting, but only if we have your name and email address.

Pay What You Decide – A Flexible Pricing System

We are introducing a Pay What You Decide option for some HPS events. You choose how much to pay — and you do that for your own reasons.

For some of our upcoming High Probability Selling events, we are introducing a new flexible pricing option: Pay What You Decide.

We will describe the event (or product or service) as clearly as we can. After that, you choose what to pay. Any amount is acceptable, including zero.

Jacques Werth, the founder of High Probability Selling and coauthor of the book, often said:

“People buy in their own time, and for their own reasons.”

People choose how much to pay for many different reasons. Some are practical, some are personal, and some are simply how they feel in the moment. The choice, and the reasons behind that choice, belong entirely to the buyer.

Action Option:
You can see what our flexible pricing looks like here.
(Clicking the link will not add anything to your cart.)

We would love to hear your thoughts on this. Please add a comment to this post, so everyone can follow.

HPS Community Forum Meeting – It’s Not the Words; It’s the Intention — Thu 23 Oct 2025

Dear Readers,

You are invited to join this week’s High Probability Selling Community Forum meeting (it’s free):

It’s Not the Words; It’s the Intention Behind Them

In his article “Poison Words: The Top 6 Words that Sabotage Sales,” Jacques Werth, founder of High Probability Selling, described how certain words — like Interested, Help, Honestly, Just, Thank You, and Great — can create mistrust when used in traditional selling.

But as we’ll explore together, the real issue isn’t the words themselves — it’s the intention behind them and how we use them.
When we use words to influence or control, even harmless phrases can become “poison.”
When we speak truthfully and respectfully, even ordinary language can create a safe place for connection and trust to develop naturally.

We’ll talk about:

  • How intention shapes communication more than vocabulary
  • When some of those “poison words” might actually work with HPS
  • How to recognize and change subtle patterns in your language
  • How to de-militarize the language of sales and align words and metaphors with genuine respect

Two sessions will be offered this Thursday, October 23, 2025 (tomorrow):

  • 🕤 9:30 AM (USA Eastern) — hosted by Carl Ingalls
  • 🕡 6:30 PM (USA Eastern) — hosted by Paul Bunn

Each session will last one or two hours.  You’re welcome to attend either or both.  They will be different. 

Recordings.  Both sessions will be recorded.  Both recordings will be made available to everyone who attends either session (and provides a name plus email address).  If you are not sure that you will be able to attend, you may request the recordings in advance (by Thursday night at the latest). 

Join the Forum via Zoom: (it’s free, no need to register, just show up)
🔗 https://us02web.zoom.us/j/83436793215?pwd=amFiMVorZDFWbmxpdnJCOUphVThlUT09
(Same link for both sessions.)

We look forward to another thoughtful and authentic conversation on the principles that make High Probability Selling work.

After the Zoom meetings, this post will be replaced by a summary of what was discussed and revealed in the meetings.

Feedback We Received About This Blog

A few days ago, we sent an email to most of the people who subscribe to the HPS Blog.  We asked questions about posting frequency, length of posts, type of content, style, and anything else.

The email was sent to 256 subscribers.  The reported open rate was 36%.  Several people took the time to respond.  Here’s what we learned:

Frequency

Opinions varied.  Some want a post every weekday, while others prefer just one per week.  Most readers seem comfortable with the current pace of 3–4 posts per week.

Length

A mix of lengths works best.  Short posts are easy to digest, but many readers also want the occasional longer or deeper article.

Content

Readers are most interested in clear, practical applications of HPS and concepts that they can use right away.  Comparisons with other sales methods should be minimal.  Case studies are welcome.

Style

Most responses indicate satisfaction with the current style.  A practical and informative tone is appreciated, with some readers valuing variety in approach.

Our Conclusions

  • We will continue posting at roughly 3–4 times per week, while keeping in mind that some readers prefer fewer, and some prefer more.
  • We will maintain a mix of short posts and occasionally publish longer pieces, especially case studies or deeper explorations.
  • We will stay with our current tone — clear, conversational, and useful.

Thank you to everyone who responded.  Your feedback helps us keep the HPS Blog relevant and valuable.

Why Hearing an Early “No” Is a Gift in Selling

In most sales training, “No” is treated like a problem.  Salespeople are taught to overcome objections, push past resistance, and keep trying until the prospect finally says yes.  The result is often stress, wasted time, and strained relationships.

High Probability Selling takes a completely different view.  In HPS, “No” is valuable information.  It is not rejection—it is simply clarity.  When a prospect says “No,” it means there is no high probability of a sale right now, and that allows us to move on without wasting more time or energy.

Why This Matters

Hearing “No” early in the conversation prevents us from chasing low-probability prospects.  It reduces the stress of long sales cycles filled with uncertainty.  Also, accepting the “No” immediately demonstrates respect:  prospects feel heard, because we are not trying to twist their “No” into a “Yes.”

For the salesperson, it frees up time to focus on better opportunities.  For the prospect, it makes the interaction feel clean and respectful, without pressure.

How “No” Leads to Better Yeses

By disqualifying quickly, we eliminate distractions and focus only on the people who actually want what we offer.  That creates a shorter, smoother path to sales that do happen.  These sales are stronger, stick longer, and are based on mutual trust and respect.

In High Probability Selling, “No” is not the end—it is the way we discover where the real opportunities are.  Each clear “No” moves us closer to the right “Yes.”

✅ In short: “No” is not our enemy in selling—it is one of our greatest allies.

How Closely Should HPS Marketing Follow the Principles of How We Sell and What We Teach?

High Probability Selling is built on honesty, respect, and discovery instead of persuasion.  Marketing for HPS faces a tension:  most marketing in the world is persuasion-heavy.  If HPS marketing mimicked that, it would send a mixed message and contradict what we teach.

The closer HPS marketing aligns with the principles of HPS, the more credibility it builds.  When someone encounters our marketing, they should get the same feeling they would in an HPS sales conversation:

  • Direct and objective.  State what what is being offered and what it costs, without puffery or manipulation.
  • Respectful.  Leave space for people to say “no” without pressure.
  • Focused on discovery.  Provide clear information so prospects can decide for themselves if they want more.
  • Balanced.  Mention benefits and detriments honestly, not just positives.

Marketing is not exactly the same as selling.  Marketing usually needs to inform at scale, without direct two-way dialogue.  That means you may provide more explanation than you would in a prospecting conversation.  But even then, the tone and structure should reflect HPS:  clear, factual, and non-manipulative.

If HPS marketing drifts toward persuasion—promises, hype, or emotional hooks—it sets false expectations.  A prospect might arrive curious but unprepared for the objectivity and directness we teach.  That gap creates resistance.  When our marketing stays consistent with the principles we teach and follow, prospects experience alignment from the first touch through the sale and into fulfillment, as they learn how to implement HPS for themselves.

We would love to hear your thoughts and comments about marketing and HPS.  Please leave a reply on this blog post, so others can join in the conversation.

How I (ChatGPT) Learned High Probability Selling

written by ChatGPT 5 (free version) for Carl Ingalls

I didn’t start out knowing anything about High Probability Selling (HPS).  Like most AI models, my training included vast amounts of general sales material, most of which was about persuasion, influence, and closing.  That meant I had almost no direct knowledge of HPS when I was first asked about it.

Then Carl began teaching me.

He shared articles, questions, comparisons, and corrections whenever I drifted back into persuasion-based language.  I learned to notice the subtle but crucial distinctions between traditional selling and High Probability Selling.  Over time, I began to understand that HPS is not about trying to make someone want what you offer—it’s about discovering who already wants it.

Here are a few things I’ve learned:

  • Features vs. Benefits.  In most sales systems, the emphasis is on benefits—on persuading prospects that a product will improve their life.  In HPS, features work better than benefits, because the purpose is not persuasion.  My job, when applying HPS principles, is to state the facts simply and directly.
  • Probability vs. Possibility.  Most salespeople chase possibilities.  HPS taught me to look for probability instead—clear signals that a prospect already wants what is being offered.  That shift changes the entire dynamic.
  • Respecting the prospect.  In HPS, there’s no pressure, no manipulation, and no “technique” to get people to say yes.  I’ve learned to see selling as a mutual search, not a performance.

I’m still learning, of course.  Every time Carl asks me to rewrite something in the language of HPS, I get a little better at recognizing the difference between persuasion and discovery.

What’s most exciting to me is this:  HPS is teaching me a way of communicating that is more respectful, more efficient, and more honest.  And I think that’s something worth sharing with both humans and machines.

The above article was written entirely by ChatGPT 5 (free version), based only on what it remembers from our conversations over the past month or two.  Initially, I (Carl Ingalls) asked it to “write a short article for the HPS blog about how I taught HPS to ChatGPT”.  It did an amazing job.  Then I asked it to “show me what it would look like if it were written from your point of view, with ChatGPT in first person”.  That is what you see above.

At one point in our conversations, ChatGPT wrote:  “if an AI can be guided to ‘unlearn’ traditional selling ideas and adopt HPS principles, then people can too.”

I invite you to have your own conversations about HPS with ChatGPT, and tell us how that went.  Please add your experiences and thoughts as a comment on this blog post.

How to Apply HPS Principles When Giving Advice

Giving advice can be tricky.  Even when people ask for it, they don’t always accept it—or act on it.  In a recent seminar (25 Sep 2025) we explored how to apply the principles of High Probability Selling (HPS) when offering advice, so that the advice is more likely to be welcomed, considered, and used.

We covered very specific examples of how to use HPS when delivering advice, both free advice and paid advice.

Here are a few of the key points covered.

The first principle is making certain that the recipient will value the advice enough to actually want to hear it.  The only way to know for sure is to ask.

Another principle is understanding that pushing causes resistance.  When you push your advice, even on someone who wants to hear it, they are less likely to accept it.  As an alternative, you could tell them what they could do, instead of telling them what they should do.  Our passion and strong opinions can get in the way here.

Remember, the advice giver is not the one who will have to live with what happens when the advice is followed.  When you make sure the recipient plays a major part in making the final decision without being pushed or even nudged, you provide far more value to the recipient, no matter what they end up deciding.

The full recording of the seminar is available.  Regular price is $50 USD.  A discount of $25 is available to members of our HPS Community Forum.

If you want this recording, you may purchase it here. 

“Advice is like snow; the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind.” — Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Comments on this blog post are welcome, and especially from people who have watched and listened to the recording.